Fire Doesn't Burn Like Ice
by Aikat3rin3
Summary: Akito fought to break him, take him, make him hers alone. What she didn't know, what he didn't know, was that he already belonged to someone else. Neither knew they belonged to the other, but they had been there for each other since the beginning. Boyxboy
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything but my own ideas.

XXX

Yuki bit back a sigh, strangling it in his throat before it wormed his way past his lips. His arms were sore from carrying the groceries and this plant all the way back from the store, he could feel the difficulty breathing building up in his chest, which the hot, dry, early fall air didn't help. Student council had run late again today, and then he had gone straight from school to pick up Tohru from her job. It wasn't any big deal, seeing as it was basically on his way anyway, but she was still promising her left arm to thank him. Instead of going home, Tohru announced that they didn't have enough things for dinner, and Yuki didn't feel like explaining that Kyo would probably make something for himself because they were already late and Shigure was at the main house. At the store, his cough turned irritating with the cold air in the freezer isle as Tohru chose Kyo's favorite fish carefully, and now the plant in his arms was irritating his throat even more. Catnip. Tohru had said something about Uo getting a new kitten. He wasn't sure; he hadn't really been paying attention by that time. And now he still had to go home and do his homework before bed. It would be after midnight by the time he actually got to sleep, and that was if he didn't eat that night.

He bit back another sigh and forced himself not to rub his eyes in aggravation. He knew if he did Tohru would pick up on his bad mood and immediately jump to the conclusion that it was her fault, even if it wasn't. Too bad it was this time. He wasn't blaming her, he never did, but something kept reminding him that if he'd just gone home instead of gone to pick her up… he wished he could shut his mind up better.

"Yuki, what would you like for dinner?" Tohru asked happily, despite how long she'd been going today too. Yuki had to keep telling himself that she'd been going as long as he had to avoid picking up his pace and leaving her behind in order to get home quicker. Why did girls always walk so slowly? Kisa and Kagura were the same way, well, Kagura if Kyo wasn't around.

"I can do rice quickly, I know it's late. I'm sorry you came to pick me up, I would have gone to the store myself—"

"Miss Honda," Yuki cut her off quickly before another round of thanks and apologies bombarded his ears. He couldn't handle any more tonight, in the morning he would listen to her and assure her it was no trouble, but he couldn't deal with it now.

"If it would be all right, do you think you could make something with the peppers from the garden? Before they go bad."

"Oh my gosh! Is it already that late? I'm sorry! I would have picked them sooner—"

"That's all right, Miss Honda," Yuki closed his eyes, willing his patience to stay in place. He didn't think it was possible to be this tired and still awake. "I didn't feel like eating them earlier, but they sound good tonight, if you wouldn't mind picking them."

"Of course!" Tohru smiled happily as they walked in the front door. "I'm sorry, Yuki, but could you put the catnip in my room?"

"Of course," Yuki smiled, waiting until she was gone into the woods for the peppers before he dropped the groceries, his fatigue showing clearly in his eyes.

Yuki trekked up the stairs, holding the box delicately. It was small, no bigger than the size of a shoebox, but the dirt made it heavy and Yuki was so tired he could feel himself losing sensation in his toes. Maybe he wasn't losing feeling in them; maybe his mind was just too tired to pick up whatever they felt. He didn't even really register what he was hearing until it was too late.

Kyo yanked open his door, halfway through his rant about how late it was and that there was nothing in the fridge so he couldn't even make himself something, but like Yuki, Kyo didn't register that someone was in front of him until he had walked out of his room and straight into the box in Yuki's hands.

Yuki stumbled back, his shoulders hitting the wall behind him as he tried to hold the box steady so the delicate plants wouldn't tip over and possibly break. The second he was sure he had a tight grip on the box again, he sent Kyo the darkest glare he could under his exhaustion. If any of the dirt had fallen on him, Yuki would have shoved the cat down the stairs. He didn't have the energy to shower tonight.

"Damn rat!" Kyo barked, his feet instantly apart in a fighting stance, his fists tight by his side. "Why can't you watch where you're going?"

Kyo's eyes burned like fire, but before Yuki could send back the nastiest retort he could manage, Kyo's eyes suddenly went wide before his lids fluttered again for a moment, his bright red eyes going from a burning flame to a glowing ember. Yuki blinked, shocked at how fast Kyo's eyes seemed to glaze over. Further inspection told him that though Kyo's hands were still fisted, his muscles were relaxed.

Yuki's eyes popped when Kyo's hand suddenly snapped out of nowhere to grip his wrist, and the redhead leaned in. Yuki yanked back, pushing past his cousin in an effort to get away from him as fast as possible before something else happened, but he hadn't even been able to turn around before Kyo launched himself at Yuki, sending both of them and the box flying. Yuki landed with a grunt on the floor, dirt raining down on him and bits of the tiny white flowers landing on his shirt and tangling themselves in his hair, the box landing with a dull thud somewhere to his right, and all of a sudden Kyo's hands were at his shoulders.

Yuki pressed his back into the floor, trying to get away from Kyo as the cat leaned in, the same dazed and glazed-over expression in his eyes. Yuki was wide-awake now. Kyo grabbing him without the apparent desire to fight had been a shock, but Kyo above him had sent a lightning bolt through Yuki, jolting him awake like he had just woken up from a week's worth of sleep.

Kyo's hands were firmly on his shoulders, his knees on either side of Yuki's hips, but even though Yuki cringed when Kyo leaned in, the cat didn't seem to notice him. The only thing he seemed intent on getting to—Yuki realized with horror—were the pieces of the plant on Yuki's shirt and in his hair.

Kyo hovered above Yuki for a moment, sniffing at the small flowers and the light green plant. When Yuki's mind finally caught on to just exactly what was going on and where he was in relation to Kyo, his hands jumped to Kyo's shoulders. He braced his back against the floor so he could put as much power as he needed into the throw, when a loud gasp erupted from his throat as Kyo's nose suddenly nuzzled at a catnip leaf on his neck.

"Kyo, stop!" Yuki yelled, trying to shove his cousin away, but the start from the contact had knocked all of the power from his arms. He couldn't throw Kyo off of him, not until he got his bearings at least, and when Kyo's tongue found another part of the catnip plant on his collarbone and sent a jolt of electricity through his mind, rendering his arm useless, it seemed that would never happen.

Yuki squeezed his eyes shut, considering yelling for help when Kyo carefully pulled a flower from Yuki's hair with his teeth, chewing it before he swallowed, when he remembered that he was alone in the house. Even if he wasn't, he didn't think he could handle the humiliation. Shigure would never let him live this down if he was here, Kyo pinning him to the ground like a cat above helpless baby rat.

"Kyo!" Yuki yelled again, trying to get his knees through Kyo's to use the leverage and shove him away, but even though he was awake now, his body was still bogged down with exhaustion. He didn't have the strength.

Kyo's nose nuzzled Yuki's neck again, making him twitch, when all of a sudden the cat leaned up just a little bit, and his tongue flicked right under Yuki's jawbone.

Yuki couldn't explain what happened. Another bolt of electricity, his arms almost going limp again, but the thing that truly shocked him beyond his thinking at the time was that something had jumped behind his naval. Kyo hadn't stopped nuzzling and licking him during the time that he had frozen, and to Yuki's surprise, his skin almost started to buzz with the touch, something behind his naval leaping erratically, like he was falling.

The sound of the front door opening gave Yuki the strength he needed, and with one heave he threw Kyo off of him, scrambling back before someone came in and saw them like this.

"Yuki! I have the peppers!" Tohru called from the stairs. The sound of her coming and Yuki throwing him back must have woken Kyo up, and he was now pressed against the far wall, his hand over his mouth and nose, his eyes wide. Yuki didn't think he was breathing for fear of smelling the catnip again. Yuki wasn't entirely sure that he was breathing either.

And his skin was still buzzing pleasantly.

"Yuki?" Tohru called, appearing at the top of the stairs. It took her about ten full seconds to realize what she was looking at before she exploded.

"AH! OH MY GOSH! WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU BOTH OK? WERE YOU FIGHTING AGAIN?"

Yuki steeled his face, clenching his fists as he pushed himself off the ground and dusted the dirt off of his shirt. "The stupid cat ran into me," he said vapidly, passing Tohru down the stairs. "I'm sorry, Miss Honda, I'll go get a broom and I'll replace your plant."

He tried to ignore it, but even his legs were buzzing, making his trip down the stairs a little wobbly. He also couldn't seem to block out Tohru calling for a response from Kyo multiple times before he reached the kitchen and couldn't hear them anymore; Kyo hadn't said anything.

Three Days Later

_I did __**not**__ like it._

He didn't. But that was the only explanation as to why he kept remembering that his mind could come up with.

No. He **didn't** like it.

…But it was also the only explanation he could come up with as to why his manhood literally **jumped** when Kyo ran his tongue across Yuki's neck. If it hadn't been Kyo… he might have really liked it. Except that he didn't. He just didn't.

It was Kyo. The **cat**. The spirit that had hated his for generations. There was no way in seven hells that he could have done anything but be disgusted by it.

…So why did he wake up wishing Kyo would do it again? Run his tongue and nose across Yuki's skin. Put his hands on Yuki's shoulders. Nuzzle into his collar and neck. And Yuki could have sworn he heard a light rumbling from Kyo's chest, and because of the cat relation to the catnip, Yuki could only think that it had been a purr. With all of the yelling Kyo did… Yuki almost wanted to hear him purr again—**no he didn't**.

Yuki had always had sort of a "greater respect" for Hatori, more than anyone else. Only now, because of what Kyo did, was he considering that he might have felt that for Hatori because…

There was no way he was gay. It was impossible. He was the rat. The perfect spirit of the zodiac. And Tohru was… Tohru was what? His friend? A very close one, but… that was really all she was. A friend who accepted him and always tried to be there for him, who always tried to make sure he was ok.

He hadn't felt that way for Hatori for a long time, but now that he thought about it, he really could have been… for Hatori…

Was it possible? Was he really gay? Had he really been into Hatori years ago?

_But then what about Kyo? _Yuki pressed his hand over his mouth, pretending he was just trying to cover the oversized bite he had accidentally taken. Ever since the incident three days ago, Kyo had been nowhere. He went to school early, left school without anyone to get home, was always on the roof or in his room, and to Yuki's knowledge, he hadn't come down to eat in those three days just to avoid him.

"Kyo isn't coming down again?" Tohru asked. It sounded like she was close to tears with worry now that he hadn't been down to eat in three days. He never took the food left outside his door, and he wouldn't answer when Tohru knocked. And it irked Yuki that Kyo would do that to Tohru just because he was mad about what happened.

Yuki looked over as he finally swallowed his bit—several rounds of chewing after he should have swallowed—and sighed. She was about to cry. He could see that in her eyes and the way her hands were clasped tightly around the table edge.

"It isn't your fault, Miss Honda, Kyo might just not feel like eating," he said, keeping his voice as steady as possible. His voice was jumping again, along with his skin buzzing. There it was again, the feeling of Kyo's nose nuzzling into his neck, right by his shoulder. Yuki immediately stamped on the feeling.

"You don't think he's sick, do you?" Her voice had cracked.

Yuki sighed again and put down his chopsticks. He grabbed a tray from the counter and loaded a plate of food onto it. He waited for a moment for Shigure to see something, but the dog had his nose buried in the newspaper even though Yuki knew he wanted to say something, so he left before Shigure could decide to say it. If it was taking the dog that long to decide whether or not to let it out of his mouth, it wasn't anything Yuki wanted to hear. He knew what Shigure would say anyway.

Yuki shifted the tray to one arm outside of Kyo's door before knocking, though he wasn't sure why he did. He never had before. When Kyo didn't answer—as he'd been expecting—Yuki just closed his eyes and willed the feeling of Kyo's nose away before he pushed open the door.

Kyo whirled to the sound of the door opening, and at the sight of Yuki he almost flew to the other side of the room to get away from him.

Yuki's eyes narrowed and he set the tray down on the floor. "I don't have anymore catnip, and I washed my clothes and showered the first second I had."

"I'm not scared!" Kyo shot back haughtily. Yuki bit into his lip, smothering the smile dawning on his face. Odd. It was almost a relief to hear Kyo's voice after three silent days with none of his yelling. But he didn't like it. He **didn't**.

"Eat. Miss Honda is worried that you're sick," he said simply before walking out, but before he could shut the door, Kyo had appeared behind him with the tray in his hands. At first Yuki thought Kyo was going to try and give the tray back, but when he said nothing and kept his eyes diverted, Yuki turned back around and kept on down the stairs, Kyo following behind him. Some things were better not to question.

"Well, how on earth did Yuki get Kyo down here when even our sweet Tohru couldn't?" Shigure was smiling. He'd finally said what he was holding back earlier, and from the happy smile on his face, he was enjoying this.

_Stupid dog._ Yuki sat down heavily and picked up his rice, starting to nibble on it, but he should have known Shigure wouldn't shut up.

"Or more importantly, why?"

Yuki almost choked. There was no way the dog would know, he couldn't, but even though Yuki knew he couldn't, Shigure's snake-oil merchant tone still sent shivers up his spine. What if someone found out? Kyo looked frozen in front of his food too, but at least it wasn't showing on his face.

"Oh, I-I don't know," Tohru said, trying to be helpful and keep the fights to a minimum. "I'm just glad Kyo isn't sick, o-or still mad, or…" She wasn't helping, thought it was still sweet of her to try. Yuki managed a smile in her direction, even while choking silently on his rice, willing it down his throat before he died of suffocation.

"Thank you, Yuki," she smiled again.

"Yes, we must all thank the rat for returning our cat to us, I know we **all** missed him," Shigure said again, looking pointedly at Yuki. Of course, this flew twenty feet over Tohru's head, though neither Yuki nor Kyo missed it, and the shock from the sentence jolted the rice down Yuki's throat so he could at least breathe.

Yuki shot a warning glare at Kyo out of the corners of his eyes, daring him to say anything that might give what had happened away. **No one** could find out.

Instead, Kyo—just as flustered—just snapped, "Shut up, you damn dog!" his bowl tight in his hand.

"There is nothing strange with me going to retrieve him for Tohru. She was worried and it wasn't right for him to scare her, and you certainly weren't doing anything to help but say stupid things," Yuki said stiffly, taking another bite of rice.

"Maybe it's because our dear rat doesn't hate the cat as much as he says," Shigure offered innocently. Yuki glared, but like normal, it did nothing to faze his older cousin.

"Maybe your hate is just a cover up for your love for him, Yuki."

Because of his thought process earlier, before he had gone to get Kyo, instead of brushing the idea away as easily as he would have anything else, he considered it.

That was all it took.

Yuki believed Shigure, even shadowed with doubt he believed and considered what the dog said, just for that spilt second, but that was all it took.

That spilt second was all it took, and Yuki's heart spluttered in his chest, like it couldn't believe either, that he had just fallen hard for Kyo.

His food was frozen halfway to his mouth at the realization of what Shigure's little comment had done, rice falling off of his chopsticks as Shigure started to sing.

"Yuki and Kyo sitting in a tree! K-I-S-SI—"

Before Kyo's own return was even past his voice box, Yuki had dumped his rice bowl over Shigure's head and calmly left the room.

Well, he looked calm; inside he was shaking like his heart was creating an earthquake in his chest, a hurricane of emotions, horrors and recognition. He was in love with Kyo, the cat of the cursed Chinese zodiac.

One Week Later

Yuki tried to smother his feelings. But they made his heart leap and his vision go fuzzy in ways he had never felt before. It was an addiction; his body wouldn't let him ignore his feelings once he had felt them. Every time Kyo walked by, Yuki's heart would splutter and he would instantly walk the other direction just to end it.

He tried to ignore Kyo. He tried not to look at him during everything. The way he held his chopsticks during meals, the way he walked on the way to school and back—clumsy or not, Kyo really was graceful even with small movements like walking, truly like the cat—coming out of the bath with just a towel on—that had only happened once and Yuki had made damn sure since that it wouldn't happen again. He could only get so red from blushing before his head popped off of his shoulders.

He stuttered when he saw the tanned inch of stomach under Kyo's black t-shirt, the one that was just too small for him; and he couldn't get over how cute Kyo looked when he yawned. Yuki was never up early enough to see Kyo yawn then, and he himself was too tired to even yawn in the morning, but at night Kyo would yawn, the tiredness creeping up on him. Yuki wondered what it was like, to start feeling just a little bit tired. After years with Akito's visits and "punishments", Yuki had learned to block out everything except what he needed to stay out of danger. He was awake, and then he was smashed over the head with just how tired he really was. He had wondered, if he had shut everything else out, then why did his heart leap when he was around Kyo? But then he remembered he had never felt anything like this before, not with Akito shutting him down like an animal, a pet or a slave at every turn. His body wasn't accustomed to this emotion; he didn't know how to barricade himself against it to protect himself from Akito.

And Yuki was determined to learn how to choke these feelings. Even before he knew something himself, sometimes Akito knew. He couldn't risk Akito finding this out. Every chance he got to get away from Kyo, he took, so presently he was at the grocery store again with Tohru as she fussed over what spices to buy for the beef that night.

Yuki turned, surveying the store so no little girls ran into him again, when something crossed his vision. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

…And the worst part was that he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Sitting on a high shelf of the flower isle, for bouquets and such, was a small, downy green plant with tiny white flowers at its tips.

Yuki tried to look away, his hands clenching in his pockets, but he could already feel it. Kyo's tongue at his neck, his hands on his shoulders, his nose nuzzling into his shoulder, his tongue flicking over Yuki's collarbone. Yuki closed his eyes and let his head roll back a bit before he realized what he was doing and snapped back up.

The tiny white flowers kept drawing his gaze, no matter where he looked or what he looked at. A three year old had just pulled over an entire display of cereal and Yuki couldn't even keep his eyes on them long enough to see if someone from the store came to help them.

The tiny flowers were there, so small but so powerful, swaying in the September breeze coming in through the doors every time they opened. It was almost like they were calling to him—no, scratch that, that was just himself, begging him to buy the plant, to be able to feel the touch again that he had never felt before. Akito had touched him, but it was never like that. Never.

And… he did want to feel it again. He wanted Kyo to touch him, to hold him, to pin him down again if necessary.

With that thought, not allowing himself to think anymore about it just incase he had second thoughts, he picked the plant up off the shelf and pinched a sprig off, tucking it in his shirt pocket before he handed the plant to Tohru.

"For the one Kyo and I broke," he explained at he perplexed expression.

"Oh no! It was ok! I didn't mind! Really!" Tohru blubbered instantly, waving her hands in front of her like a lunatic.

"Please, Miss Honda. I feel bad for destroying your plant. At least take it for Miss Uotani's cat."

Tohru blinked for a moment before smiling hugely and nodding, taking the plant from him and placing it in her basket. Just before it left Yuki's fingers, a thank you slipped through his lips quiet enough for no one to hear, and he could have sworn he saw the plant nod when Tohru put it down, but that could have just been another breeze coming through the open doors.

Later

Yuki watched Tohru as she left, waiting until she was up the driveway before he turned for this stairs.

…_This is stupid. I'm such an idiot; I have to take this stupid plant out of my shirt. I'll just chuck it out the window when I get to my room, I can't do this. Maybe I'll put it Kyo's food to get rid of it. If he acts out again, at least Tohru will think it's because he loves her food. Almost as an apology for making Kyo miss all of those days of her cooking._

Yuki was so busy kicking himself for even buying the plant in the first place that he hadn't even noticed Kyo coming down the stairs. Not until the cat had slowed to a stop at his side, his head tipped in the air, did Yuki notice. He pressed a hand over the sprig in his shirt pocket, not daring to move until Kyo had, but he hadn't wanted Kyo to move toward him.

Kyo was looking around in confusion, and it only took Yuki a second to realize he was sniffing the air. _He's already smelled it._

That thought was fortified when Kyo's eyes suddenly glazed over and he leaned toward Yuki, his arms hanging limply by his side. Yuki didn't dare move an inch. And out of nowhere, Kyo swooned, tipping backwards on the stairs. Yuki instinctively knew that Kyo would have been able to take the fall, but his hand still shot out and grabbed Kyo's arm to keep him from sprawling down the stairs. Kyo tipped forward again suddenly and grabbed onto Yuki's shirt needily, making them stumble back into the wall.

Yuki instantly grabbed Kyo's shoulders and tried to shove him back. Kyo would regret it later; he would wish he were dead. Last time he didn't come down in three days, what would he do this time?

He braced his foot against the wall, going to throw Kyo back if that was what it took, when Kyo suddenly dipped down and nuzzled Yuki's shirt pocket, brushing over his hardened nipple, and it was all Yuki would do to choke down a moan.

Yuki shook his head with a snarl, determined not to lose his bearings and grabbed Kyo's shirt to throw him back down the stairs when Kyo nibbled on his neck.

Yuki latched onto Kyo's shirt, unconsciously pulling the cat into his body, his eyes wide from the shock of how gentle Kyo's teeth had been against his skin. It almost… tickled it was so gentle.

_He'll __**hate**__ it!_

That thought gave his arms the jolt they needed, and he hurled Kyo back, tearing the cat's grip off of his shirt and flinging him back into the opposite wall. When Kyo's head cracked against the wall, Yuki winced but Kyo's eyes flashed with life again, and in a second Kyo had gripped the banister and covered his mouth and nose with a hand so tightly Yuki was sure he couldn't breathe.

The new emotion behind Kyo's eyes made Yuki wince again, and he flew up the stairs before Kyo said something.

There had been **horror** in Kyo's eyes.

Idiot! He was such an idiot! He knew Kyo would hate it from last time, why would he… what possibly possessed him to want to do it again?

Yuki slammed his door behind him, only to whirl back around when the sound of the wood snapping into skin and Kyo's, "**Ow**! Damn it!" echoed around his room.

Yuki watched warily while Kyo shook out his hand to relieve it of the pain, before those red hot, angry eyes snapped to him. There was no horror now, just rage and confusion.

…_I'm such an idiot._

"Why the hell did you do that?" Kyo roared suddenly, his fists tight by his side, his feet in a fighting stance.

…_I don't know._

Yuki didn't have an answer for Kyo even if he had been able to force one up his throat. He steeled his expression, envisioning himself as a rock, and glared back at Kyo, which only pissed the cat off more.

That's right, a rock, that's what he needed to be. To hide from Akito. To keep himself safe. From hurt, from pain, from everything. He needed to be a rock. No feelings. He felt nothing for Kyo.

"You knew what would happen because of last time!" Kyo continued hotly, taking another step into Yuki's room and forcing the rat back. "With that damn plant in the damn hall… way…"

Kyo trailed off, his eyes going wide with realization, which only horrified Yuki.

_No! He can't know! There is nothing!_

"You… knew what would happen…"

"So what if I did?" Yuki snapped, smothering the desperation in his voice as he shoved his way past Kyo and into the hallway when Kyo grabbed his arm, forcing him back around.

"Then why did you…?" Kyo asked quietly. Yuki dipped his head, waiting until Kyo dropped his arm before he dashed down the stairs and outside.

His garden, he could go to the garden… he needed to think. To figure out how he was going to destroy these feelings. It wasn't enough to hide them, he couldn't, they were too powerful. He'd never felt anything like it before, and now he couldn't hold it back. Maybe Hatori, if he didn't tell Akito, could erase his memories that the incident had ever happened.

Four Days Later

The last few days had been very awkward. Both had avoided each other to the point where Yuki came home from school, went straight to his garden and didn't physically walk into the house until he was sure Kyo would be in his room or on the roof. For the times he was in the house to keep Tohru from worrying too much, Kyo was nowhere to be seen except for the occasional appearance by the fridge before he went upstairs. They both went to dinner for Tohru's sake, to show that they weren't sick or didn't like her cooking anymore, both of which she would worry about, but neither said anything. It was almost like they weren't there for the other. To Shigure and Tohru it seemed the two of them wanted to look at each other about as much as they wanted to meet eyes with Medusa.

Yuki spoke to Tohru and occasionally Shigure. Kyo spoke even less, but then it was only to Tohru and to yell at Shigure for something stupid he said. They never talked or looked at each other at school. Kyo was up and off to school usually even before Yuki was awake. Yuki took Tohru to the store and Kyo would do whatever he needed to when they were gone.

It was like Kyo didn't exist, and that made it easier for Yuki to kill the feelings struggling for life in his chest. They were like fire in his veins, a fire that had ignited like wildfire when Kyo had first touched Yuki and had fought to keep burning, to let him keep feeling the touches and feelings burning in his chest, but now Kyo was gone and Yuki was dousing the fire, making it splutter like embers and coals.

Yuki was sitting in his room, looking over the vocab for that week and trying to commit it to memory. It wasn't sticking, nothing seemed to be over the past four days, but it was getting easier. Four days ago after the incident on the stairs, Yuki hadn't even been able to process what had been said to him. It took two or three times of repeating a single question for him to understand it and form an answer. Now he was remembering what people asked him at the beginning of the day so they could go over it again at the end of the day during the student council meeting.

Except for the vocab. The vocab was just not fixing in his mind no matter how many times he read over it.

His door banged open suddenly, and Yuki whirled, his eyes going wide as he saw Kyo snarling from the doorway.

Kyo just looked back at him, his lip pulled back to reveal his slightly sharper canines, before he stepped in and slammed the door behind him again. Yuki wasn't sure if he could move, he was to busy staring into Kyo's eyes, burning like the flame trying to catch again in his heart. He doused it with thoughts of Akito, pushing it back until it was almost as nonexistent as it had been before, and made sure his voice was flat before he said, "What?" as calmly as he could.

Rockets were going off behind his eyes, and he was buzzing in his skin again, something in him trying to get him to touch Kyo again, to feel the warmth and fire from Kyo's lips and hands, but he couldn't let any of that show. He needed to destroy any existence of the feelings. He felt nothing.

And then Kyo growled again, pressing a hand over his eyes as he leaned back into the wall.

"Ever since that thing four days ago," he spat, cutting off quickly like he didn't know how to finish what he wanted to say.

_There is nothing to feel. Numb. Cold. Blank. There is nothing to feel. _ Yuki repeated to himself over and over again, forcing images of Akito through his head. The fire was dying again, spluttering and flickering in him, but it was dying, getting smaller by the second.

And then Kyo said it.

"I can't get you out of my goddamn head!"

The fire roared up again, streaking through Yuki's heart and shooting to every corner of his body. He tried to smother it, but even his thoughts of Akito were burned away with the heat of memories of Kyo. Kyo's fiery eyes as the cat yelled at him. Kyo's fist flying for his face. Kyo's eyes as he stared at Yuki during one of their fights.

And then the ones that had fueled his emotions from the beginning. Kyo's hands on his shoulders, his knees on either side of Yuki's waist. Kyo's glazed eyes as he stared into Yuki's, the catnip drugging his mind. Kyo's lips in his hair, pulling a small white flower from his silver locks. Kyo's lips and teeth on his neck as he nibbled at Yuki's skin for the taste of the catnip. Kyo's lips around his chest, grazing his nipple as he tried to get the plant from Yuki's pocket. Kyo's tongue on his neck.

And then Kyo moved his hand from his eyes, looking back at Yuki with pain in his eyes.

The same pain Yuki felt.

Any desire to delete what had happened from his mind incinerated in the fire in his chest at that second.

What'ch'yall think? Good? Bad? Piece of crap? Bulldozer material? Sent from god? (I'm not religious, but whatever… ¬¬)

Tell me if you liked it or not!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own anything but my ideas.

XXX

That day had been… fine. And needless to say, that surprised Yuki. There was usually always at least one thing wrong with his day. A fight with Kyo, scaring Tohru, some sort of tiff with Arisa Uotani about Tohru, Shigure saying something stupid, student council exhausting him, a "call" from Akito...

But today had been fine. No rogue girls running into him. Tohru wasn't working late, though she had gone home with her friend Hana so she wouldn't spew apologies to him for something. He would miss her, like he always did when she was away at her grandfather's or a friend's, but it meant he wouldn't have to try and tell her that what she did was so minuscule he would have forgotten it instantly if she hadn't started apologizing.

Things had actually been a lot better with Kyo after the little confession from the cat. They'd started living normally around each other again, and even occasionally meeting eyes. There had been small squabbles, which oddly—and not oddly at the same time—seemed to relieve Tohru and Shigure because they hadn't been fighting at all before that, but Yuki couldn't help but notice how insignificant they were. Something about him leaving his bag in a bad place in the hallway that Kyo had almost tripped over, Kyo dropping a dish even tough it didn't break, he didn't even really remember what they had been about.

Only one thing stuck in his mind from the fights, and it was the life in Kyo's eyes again. Not avoiding him, not trying to hide something, actual relief, and that was enough to make him relax too.

Yuki pulled open the door and stepped into the dark house. It was mid fall now, but was it really this late to be this dark? He hadn't even noticed student council had gone past five.

Yuki slipped his shoes off by the door and stepped into the house, wondering what Tohru had left for dinner and how he was going to heat it up without setting fire to the house. Maybe she'd made something that didn't need to be heated, like sushi or some sort of fish.

Yuki walked slowly into the dining room, pausing at the doorway at what he saw.

Kyo's homework was spread out over the table, with Kyo asleep on top of it, his pencil still in his hand. From the looks of his filled papers, he had just barely finished before he fell asleep, and had decided it was too much effort to put it all back in his bag and go upstairs.

Yuki's feet pulled him forward unconsciously until he was standing over the fiery-haired teen, looking down at him.

Kyo looked so calm, his toned shoulder blades relaxed, unlike when he was awake and always prepared for a fight with either him or Haru. Heck, he was always prepared for a fight. His hair was beautiful, like fire, and even in the moonlight it glowed like embers.

Yuki reached down, only half aware of what he was doing, and reached out. His fingers ran lightly through Kyo's bangs, brushing them back out of his cousin's eyes before he stood again. Dinner forgotten, he walked quickly up the stairs before he did something else that he would regret later. Things were fine with Kyo now, he didn't need to go and ruin them again.

From his study, the door cracked, Shigure watched Yuki go upstairs before his eyes flicked back to Kyo and he rolled the end of his pen around in between his teeth, chewing on the end for a moment before he smiled.

Maybe he could help a little.

XXX

Yuki was buttoning his pajamas, about to climb into bed when Shigure suddenly appeared at his door, stretching and yawning. Instantly Yuki was braced for whatever stupid thing the dog was going to say.

Shigure let out a huge yawn, cracking an eye to peak at Yuki to gauge his reaction for how thick he would have to lay it on. Yuki was suspicious, anyone could see that, meaning he couldn't say anything about the touch to Kyo's hair at all. Well, he could work with that. Years growing up with Ayame hadn't taught him nothing.

"Well," Shigure said around another yawn, letting his arms drop tiredly, "I'm going to bed."

Yuki nodded, his eyes narrowed slightly, looking for what Shigure was planning.

Shigure chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Did you see Kyo downstairs?"

Yuki tensed. _What did he see? Whatever is was, he'll say it—_

"Cute, isn't he? I hope he doesn't get cold down there," Shigure said simply before walking away down the hallway.

Yuki couldn't help but blink. _…He didn't see anything? Then what was that about?_

Yuki watched until Shigure's door had closed behind him, and he stood there for a moment before walking silently so Shigure wouldn't hear him in Kyo's room. He looked around, giving up when he couldn't find it and dashed back to his room. He would never hear the end of the questions if Shigure saw him in his rival's room.

Yuki pulled the chair from his desk and pushed it up to his closet, climbing up on it to look around. There, in the back, shoved into a corner over two years ago, was a sweatshirt he had never worn except on ridiculously cold nights in winter because it was black and too big for him.

He grabbed it and shook it out to get rid of any excess dust—there wasn't much because his closet was closed and it had been buried under other old clothes of his—before climbing off the chair, not daring to jump in case Shigure heard him and came to investigate.

He checked the hallway a few times before slipping out silently and down the stairs to the dining room.

He stood there for a moment, admiring how relaxed and stunning Kyo looked in the moonlight, and draped the sweatshirt over Kyo's shoulders, making sure to cover his arms with the sleeves and his head with the hood. Yuki's fingers lingered there for a second, and then without order from him, drifting upwards again to slide into Kyo's red hair.

…It was soft.

He yanked back as if Kyo's hair really was as hot as fire, realizing what he was doing. He whirled and dashed quickly upstairs and closed his door, climbing into bed before he did anything else and Shigure really did come to see what all the noise was about.

Shigure looked up from his book in his bed, tracking Yuki going up and down the stairs and then his door shutting. He waited for something else, and allowed a smug smile to creep onto his face when he didn't.

Morning

Kyo awoke sharply with a shiver. He blinked the sleep from his eyes, trying to get his bearings on where he was. He sniffed to clear his breathing, spotting the open veranda door, the source of his chilliness, and stood slowly to go close it.

_Did I fall asleep downstairs last night? Why didn't someone wake me? Oh yeah, Tohru's at Hana's. _

The air outside was cold and misty in the morning breeze, and Kyo didn't guess it to be later than four in the morning. Maybe it would even out because of how early he had fallen asleep last night.

It wasn't until after he had closed the door and lifted his arms to stretch that he noticed something starting to slip off of his shoulders. Instinctively he grabbed it, pulling it around to look at it; he didn't remember putting on a sweatshirt yesterday night, and he knew he didn't wear one at school, so…

Kyo held up the sweatshirt, looking at it with one eyebrow raised. It was black and too big to be Tohru's, so his immediate thought was Shigure, but why would the dog…?

Kyo held it to his face experimentally. It didn't feel like it had been worn or used before, and—

Kyo blinked in shock, holding it back to look at it again.

It smelled like Yuki.

Yuki stumbled down the stairs around nine, much later than he ever got up, courtesy of Tohru not being there. He stepped into the kitchen and instantly jolted to a stop. He wasn't tired anymore, he was wide-awake.

Kyo stood at the fridge, pulling the carton of milk off the shelf, his orange hair glowing in the sunlight, but that wasn't what caught Yuki's attention.

Kyo was still wearing his sweatshirt.

Later

This was **awkward**. Yuki and Kyo had been standing outside the shopping market for about a half an hour now, waiting for Tohru. Neither had said a single word, or even coughed though it was cold enough to irritate Yuki's bronchial tubes.

Yuki tried to busy his eyes with everything, a bug, someone eating their dinner outside, parents holding their childrens' hands—

"Thanks… for the sweatshirt."

Yuki turned in shock to Kyo, who looked as flustered as if he were naked now in the middle of the downtown area. Kyo was glaring at the ground, but Yuki was surprised he had even said something.

"Y-You're welcome," he stuttered back.

"…Why did you do it? I mean, if you knew I would go crazy because of the first time in the hallway…"

Yuki swallowed and pulled up the same courage it must have taken Kyo to thank him and admitted, "…I… liked it… the first time."

He looked up again to find Kyo's cheek tinged red, and not from the cold, and his lips moving as he muttered slightly.

"What?" Yuki asked after a moment, not entirely sure Kyo wanted him to hear him at all.

Kyo clenched his teeth before repeating in a strained voice, "I said I'd rather do it when I knew what the hell I was **doing**."

"Sorry I took so long!" Tohru said cheerfully, walking out of the store. She blinked, her smile dropping to a confused look at the sight of both Yuki and Kyo beet red.

Two Days Later

Yuki walked in the door and turned the lights on, the immediate signal that Tohru wasn't home. Actually, she was at Uo's house that evening working on a project due in a few days, but three bowls of pre-made food were wrapped out on the counter with a note asking if someone could take Shigure his bowl because he would be working that night in his study. Yuki chuckled at the thought that Shigure would put aside even food to work, but decided he would take it to Shigure anyways because Tohru had asked.

Yuki set the note down and dropped his bag off by the table, slipping out of his tie as he uncovered one of the bowls.

_Maybe… maybe fifteen minutes in the microwave? Or will that be too much…_

"Let me," Kyo said, pushing Yuki out of the way and unwrap the rest of the bowls. "I already read the note and you'd burn it so bad that we wouldn't be able to salvage anything."

Yuki stood back, watching Kyo work.

_When Kyo pushed me… _

There hadn't been any force behind it. It was almost like as how Kyo would nudge Tohru aside to help her with something she couldn't get.

That thought almost pulled a smile onto his lips, but he decided to smother it.

Yuki leaned back against the wall, watching Kyo. Even with the smallest movements, he really did look like a cat. Everything he did was fluid and graceful, and even though he was clumsy, like when he let Tohru fall into him the first day they had met, he really did move with a lot of grace, his feet balancing his body in the best ways even in the tiniest shift of his positions.

Kyo set down a steaming bowl of food on the counter and picked up the next one. Yuki stepped forward and picked up the bowl, telling Kyo he would bring it to Shigure before he walked out.

Yuki didn't bother to knock and slid the door open with his foot, placing the bowl on Shigure's table without look at the dog.

"Yuki," Shigure said just as Yuki was about to close the door behind him again, and Yuki paused, looking back over his shoulder.

"Try not to destroy the house tonight, what with Tohru not being here and all I know you both don't really have to hold back, but I do like my house—"

"Stupid dog," Yuki cut him off and slammed the door on Shigure's smug smile.

Kyo had already put his bowl at the table, so Yuki sat down across from his cousin and picked up his chopsticks. It was good, but Yuki couldn't focus on what it tasted like. Some sort of fish. His mind was too busy trying to keep him calm.

Kyo was sitting across from him quietly eating his food as well, his eyes on the table. Yuki dared to glance at him once, but they never met eyes so it didn't seem like Kyo's was looking at him. Just as well.

Yuki swallowed his last bite, trying not to choke on it as he remembered what had happened two days earlier, and he set his chopsticks down so they wouldn't shake. He felt calmer now than he did just eating, which was odd, but it made things easier.

"…Did you mean it…?"

Kyo looked up confusedly, one eyebrow cocked as he looked back at Yuki, some noodles hanging out of his mouth.

"When…" Yuki clenched his hands to steady himself. "Did you really want to do it without the catnip?"

Kyo lurched forward, his food falling out of his mouth as he hacked, trying to get the rest of his food unclogged from his throat, and managed to splutter, "D-Damn rat!"

The silence fell again, deadening in the almost empty house. Yuki quickly picked up his chopsticks and took another bite of rice before he said something else.

He didn't dare look up to the sound of clothes shuffling, assuming Kyo was leaving, and he tried to ignore something sinking in his chest. What was wrong with him?

His sixth sense prickled again and he looked up slowly to find Kyo standing over him. Yuki gasped, dropping his chopsticks and scrambling back as Kyo got on his knees and crawled toward him.

Kyo kept coming the farther back Yuki went, and then all of a sudden Yuki hit the wall and his muscles went stiff as Kyo appeared inches from his face. Kyo leaned in slowly, dipping into Yuki's neck. Yuki couldn't help the rush of air escaping from his lungs when Kyo's lips brushed over his collarbone.

Yuki didn't know how long he'd been there, shivering and breathing hard under Kyo's touches and caresses. He quivered pleasantly every time Kyo's warm breath rushed over his skin, his spine arched every time Kyo's lips touched his shoulders, he gasped every time Kyo's teeth grazed over the back of his jawbone right below his ear and he bit back moan after moan every time Kyo nuzzled him with the tip of his nose.

His muscles were tense with pleasure and he was vibrating in his skin again. Kyo's lips and nose danced over his skin with feather-like touches.

Even after shoving his feelings into a corner and smashing them with a rock, this feeling was coming back, the flame burning in his chest. He couldn't stop it, just like when Kyo told him he couldn't get him out of his head.

_W-What does this mean? I don't feel anything—_a moan slipped through his lips when Kyo nibbled on his earlobe and traveled down his skin to where his ear met his jawbone, sucking on the sensitive skin_—for Kyo. The __**cat**__. _

And then Kyo pulled back, and Yuki pried his eyes open just in time to see Kyo move into his face, and then the cat's lips were pressed against his own.

Everything stopped. The wind from outside. The noises coming from his chest. Both of their breathing. There was no sound or movement anywhere.

Kyo's lips were hot and slick with saliva from what he had been doing to Yuki's neck, and Yuki was frozen against the wall, looking back at Kyo's closed eyes, his eyebrows narrowed like he was fighting with himself. The cat was always fighting, it was his nature, but Yuki could barely get his mind to think even that as he stared wide-eyed at Kyo.

The cat growled suddenly, pulling back and moving to stand, his face getting redder by the second, and something in Yuki screamed. The touch was gone, Kyo was gone, and he didn't know what was making him so desperate, but his hands shot out before he could blink and latched onto Kyo's shirt, yanking him back in.

Yuki pressed his lips back against Kyo's, closing his eyes and just letting the warmth and feelings swallow him whole. It took a moment, but then Kyo relaxed, his lips moving against Yuki's slowly and nervously.

There was only one thing Yuki understood beyond a shadow of a doubt during this entire thing.

He wanted this.

Shigure yawned silently and stepped into the kitchen for the fridge. Dinner hadn't been enough surprisingly, but maybe that was because he hadn't had seconds like usual.

_Ah, my dear sweet Tohru, when you are gone I—_

Shigure ground to a halt in the kitchen doorway, looking down to a corner of the room to the side of the table.

Yuki was pressed up against the wall, his hands tight in Kyo's shirt as the cat leaned forward on his knees, his hands on the floor keeping him from falling onto Yuki, their dinners abandoned on the table. Even in the dark of the night, Shigure could see clearly that their lips were locked together.

He blinked for a moment, watching the two move against each other before he smiled and walked back out of the kitchen.

So he **had** been right. His smile grew as he silently shut the door to his study so as not to disturb them. And maybe now they wouldn't destroy his house.

Next Day

Yuki held up his clippers, weighing them in his hand and looking between them and the temperature gauge on the outside of the window. His clippers were rusty and old. It was thirty degrees outside. He needed to prune his plants now or some of them wouldn't make it through the winter.

Yuki sighed and placed the clippers on the table, reaching for his coat and slipping it over his shoulders. He did every button from the bottom up before putting on gloves and a scarf as well as his warmest shoes. He really hated asthma, but it wouldn't be a problem if he got something hot to drink out… then he would be able to get home with almost no problem except for a little discomfort. He could deal with that, he got it every time running.

"I'm going out," he called into the kitchen, making Tohru burn her fingers on the pot she looked over so fast.

"Ah!" she yelped, leaping back and cradling her hand. "Ouch! Oh, I'm so clumsy, I don't know why I touched the pot!" she was trying to laugh to cover up her pain. Yuki moved to step forward, not exactly sure about what he should do, when Kyo stood up from the table and walked over to her, rolling his eyes.

"Jeez," Kyo bent to pick up the spoon she had dropped and took her hand, turning it to look at the burn. "You're a real klutz, you know that?"

"I-I know! I'm sorry!" she spluttered, trying not to cry from the red mark on her fingers.

"It's not bad," Kyo said, turning on the water and holding her fingers under the cold water.

Yuki winced, his eyebrows furrowing as something clenched sharply in his chest looking at Kyo holding Tohru's hand.

"I'm sorry, Miss Honda, I didn't mean to distract you," he said, walking over to her and trying not to look at her hand and just at her face. Just at her face. Kyo wasn't holding her hand.

"It's ok, I just grabbed it, and I don't know why, but it really doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you, Kyo."

Kyo nodded and Yuki flicked his eyes away, looking at the dew and trying not to chew through his tongue. What was wrong with him? Tohru was hurt and all he could think about was… what? What **was** that?

"Yuki, did you say you were going out?" Tohru asked, looking warily to the bare trees outside. It hadn't snowed yet, but it was on its way. She was worried about his asthma too.

He smiled. "It's all right, Miss Honda, I'll get something warm to drink while I'm out."

She nodded, but didn't seem too convinced. Yuki watched her expressions flick across her face, and he was pretty sure she was just about to offer to go with him when Kyo suddenly spoke up.

"I'll go with him."

Tohru hid the shock on her face about as well as she would have hid a black eye.

"…You'll go with him?" she repeated dumbly.

"Do you want him to die because of his damn asthma?" Kyo snapped, letting go of her hand to march out of the kitchen. "Keep your hand under the water until it feel better!" he barked from the other room. Yuki was sure if he didn't have more self-control he would have looked as dumbfounded as Tohru did now.

She turned back to him warily. "Um, Yuki, is that…?"

Yuki paused for a moment, making sure his voice wouldn't betray him before he just blinked. "It's best not to argue with the stupid, Miss Honda."

"I heard that!" Kyo yelled from the front room.

"W-Well, I guess it's better, I mean, I would go but—"

"You stay and finish dinner, Miss Honda, or Shigure will get irritable," Yuki smiled, trying to reassure her.

…Kyo wanted to go with him? The thought almost made him smile, but he was more confused than anything else.

"Well… all right," she smiled and turned back to stirring the food with her good hand, as the other was still under the faucet.

Yuki walked to the front door, waiting until Kyo had come to join him, pulling his coat on and not looking him in the eye, before he slipped out of the door, trying not to let in the cold air.

"…What do you need?" Kyo asked when they were halfway down the drive.

"Clippers, I need to prune my garden or some of the plants will die this winter," Yuki nodded to the small patch of greens as they passed it.

He blinked at Kyo's odd expression, and then the cat said quietly, "You think that's what Akito thinks about us? He has to prune us or we'll die?"

Yuki's lunged clenched, his throat going so tight he couldn't breathe. He closed his eyes, just listening to his and Kyo's steps on the cold, hard ground before his throat opened again and he could answer.

"No, I think he thinks we're like wild horses… and we have to be broken so we can be trusted and put to use."

Kyo nodded and licked his lips. Yuki wondered if they were as dry as his because of the mention of Akito. Kyo looked just as flustered as him, but it could have been because they were out together. He didn't think they had been out alone like this since… since they went to retrieve Tohru from her grandfather's. Almost three years ago now.

Most teenagers his age were looking forward to the eighteen-year milestone, but… it didn't really have any meaning for him. Nothing would change, except that maybe Akito would force him to move back into the main house. It wouldn't be a milestone then, it would be the end of his life.

His throat was still that much tighter from Kyo's question, and the cold, dry air wasn't helping, and he had started coughing even before they had reached town much to his annoyance. His chest was tight, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle.

"You ok?"

Yuki looked over and nodded, cursing himself when he immediately had to cough into his arm again from trying to answer.

"…You sure?"

Yuki blinked, looking back up to Kyo's flustered expression.

"…You're pink is all! Like you can't get any damn oxygen!" Kyo snapped in his defense, looking away from Yuki and jamming his hands tightly into his pockets.

Yuki tried to answer, and the words got halfway out of his throat before another hacking cough invaded his throat, leaving Kyo looking even more ticked off.

"Ah hell with it! Wait here!" Kyo barked suddenly, stalking off down the row of vendors lining the street.

Yuki watched him leaving until he had disappeared into the crowd of people. He stood there for a moment and sighed in annoyance after Kyo wasn't back a good five minutes later.

_Stupid cat._ He sat down on the bench behind him and pulled his scarf of his mouth and nose, covering his mouth with his hand before he inhaled to try and warm the air up when out of nowhere a travel cup appeared out of nowhere in front of his face.

Yuki blinked, looking up to see Kyo glaring down at him, holding out the mug of steaming tea, his own in his other hand. Except that he wasn't glaring, Yuki could see clear embarrassment in Kyo's flaming eyes.

_That's right, he's never done anything like this._ Yuki realized, reaching up for the cup with a nod as thanks. Kyo nodded in return and sipped his drink, his other hand back tightly in his pocket.

"Aww, how nice."

Both looked over to an older couple cooing in their direction. Kyo looked around, but Yuki could tell by the confused look on his face that they were the only ones on the frozen street. Everyone else thought it was too cold to be out.

"Remember when we were like that?" the woman asked her husband, who nodded happily.

"They're such a cute couple," he agreed, and the woman waved to them as they walked by.

Yuki swallowed the sip in his mouth, realizing that he had already burned his tongue in the time he was sitting there gaping after them, and just sat there. He didn't even know what to think.

_Couple? _

"How did they think that?" Yuki asked stiffly, taking another agitated sip as he stared at the ground, his gaze hard.

"Well no wonder, you look like a girl in that damn coat," Kyo answered easily, like he'd been thinking it even before the couple came along. Yuki's look dropped to a glare and he faced away from Kyo, deeming it not worth it to answer. He needed to save his throat as much as he could.

_Stupid—_

"Cute though," Kyo whispered, so suddenly Yuki wouldn't have been sure he actually said it if he hadn't looked up at the last second to see Kyo's lips moving.

"…What did you say?" he asked breathlessly.

Kyo's eyes narrowed again, the embarrassment flashing behind his eyes as he snapped, "Nothing."

The clippers were in Yuki's pocket, Kyo in step next to him. He couldn't see the house yet, but it had taken them longer to get to town because he had needed to walk slower, so he assumed it would take even longer getting home. There was also the small fact that it was night now, so maybe that's why he couldn't see it, but Tohru was home so he doubted the lights would be off.

Yuki blinked suddenly, slowing when Kyo suddenly stopped. The cat's hands were tight in his pocket again, and he wouldn't meet Yuki's eyes.

"Kyo?"

Kyo's eyes were locked on the ground for the first moment, but then he reached up and hooked his finger in the top of Yuki's scarf, pulling it down to reveal his face. Yuki was about to protest, saying that he would need another tea, when Kyo leaned in and pressed his lips gingerly to Yuki's.

Yuki's eyes popped and his muscles locked, and then the buzzing started from his toes and worked its way up his body, massaging into his muscles and skin and making his legs wobble. He reached up tentatively and gripped Kyo's shoulders, pulling the cat in tighter to his body.

And then Kyo pulled away and started back toward the house, leaving Yuki stunned on the road. Yuki only moved, jolted out of his stupor when Kyo barked, "Hurry up before your damn asthma kills you," and he forced his feet to move, following the flaming hair through the night.

He hoped he wasn't too flushed. He felt it.

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	3. Chapter 3

I don't own anything but my ideas.

XXX

Yuki felt numb. As a rock. He couldn't even really tell his feet were moving until the house suddenly entered his field of vision.

_Flashback_

"_Sit down, Yuki."_

_Yuki did, keeping his eyes on the floor as he clenched his hands under the table where Akito couldn't see them._

"_And how have you been, Yuki?" Akito's low voice rolled over from across the table. She reached for her tea and sipped the steaming liquid, so Yuki quickly picked up his cup and did the same, hoping to remain nonchalant. It wasn't working._

"_All right," he said flatly. _No emotion. No emotion. No emotion.

"_And how is Kyo? I feel as though I have been neglecting him by not seeing him. Especially since he disappeared for four months."_

_Ice shot through Yuki's veins, the insides of his wrists going painfully cold, and he was stunned he didn't freeze on the spot. "He's been fine."_

"_No large… arguments? Shigure tells me you two have been getting along better," she purred from behind her cup._

_Yuki's grip tightened around his cup. "No. There's no reason to fight with him. It's futile."_

_Akito paused and slowly set her cup down. "…Well I'm glad for that… I suppose there's no need to damage his pride anymore, as he will never defeat you."_

_Yuki's brow furrowed in confusion at the smile on her face as she stared at nothing in particular past his head. She looked so… smug. Yuki felt another shiver run down his spine when she chuckled quietly. What was she so __**happy**__ about? _

…_That Kyo would never beat him? It almost seemed like something beyond that._

_She laughed again. "…The cat…" she mused before continuing, "and how have things been going with Tohru?"_

"_She's all right as well," Yuki answered quickly. With Akito and Tohru it was always touch and go, he really didn't want to have to discuss Tohru and have to gauge what Akito said or did._

"_And she's accepted you?"_

"…_Yes, we are close friends now," Yuki answered slowly, not sure what she was getting at._

"_I doubt that."_

_Yuki's eyes snapped up to meet Akito's hard gaze, staring back into his eyes. It was amazing, just how black her eyes were. It was also amazing how much he desperately hoped that it was just the light that made them look like that._

"_Well," Akito said casually, a smirk in her cold lips, "You saw how even Tohru reacted to Kyo's true form. If you cannot accept everything about someone, how can you accept them at all?"_

Poison. Her words are **poison**. Don't listen. **Don't listen**!

"_Do you really think she feels like she can accept you for exactly what you are?" Akito continued, his smile growing._

Don't **listen**!_ Yuki clenched his cup tighter, keeping his face as blank as a lake on a calm day. _Calm. Don't listen.

"_I don't know if anyone can. I mean, how could they? I'm sure even Kyo can't accept your zodiac form."_

—!

_Yuki's eyes popped. He wouldn't have been able to keep them blank if he tried. Why did she bring Kyo into this?_

_He knew she was smiling. She had to have been. She had rocked him with that last sentence and she knew it. She always knew. She could taste his discomfort in the air, like a snake._

"_You can go now, Yuki."_

_Yes, now that her work was done, he could go._

_Yuki nodded numbly and stood, his eyes glued to the floor._

Poison! Just poison! _He screamed at himself as he slid on his coat and scarf. _Just **poison**!

…Does Kyo really not…?

_A Little Later_

_Yuki was walking blindly through the street. His subconscious knew this was the way home, but everything looked strange and unwelcoming. Every face looked hostile. Every building looked shadowy and ominous. In everyone's eyes he could see Akito's cold, unfeeling stare, and he could see her smile on everyone's face. Poisonous. _

_Her words were eating into his mind, and he couldn't stop them. He tried to block them out, but… it was like venom in his veins, if he didn't know how to properly remove all of it, it would never be gone. It would grow and continue to contaminate him and fill his mind with her poison._

_Yuki gasped, air forcing itself out of his lungs as someone ran into him, and in a horrible moment of realization of what had happened, terror and smoke, Yuki stood before the girl, his clothes lying around him._

_She laughed, pushing her hair out of her eyes so she could see him._

"_I'm so sorry! I didn't even… see…" she looked around confusedly, her gaze finally landing on the tiny rat frozen in the middle of the otherwise deserted sidewalk._

_She had barely laid eyes on him before she shrieked, "RAT!" and leaped back, tearing off in the direction she had come from… as if Yuki was the poison._

_She had been so blinded by her fear of rats that she hadn't even been able to put two and two together. The clothes, Yuki there and then gone, the smoke, a rat now sitting in his place. She hadn't seen any of it._

_Yuki knew he should have been relieved, thrilled even, but as he quickly dragged his clothes to a nearby alley, the only things running through his mind was the look of pure revulsion and panic in her eyes as she looked at him. The way she'd pressed her hand over her heart and mouth like to block him out of her lungs and blood, her eyes as wide as the full moon glaring over their heads, her lips pulling back to reveal her teeth like she was trying to keep her dinner down._

…_Was he really that disgusting? Strange? Monstrous?_

"You saw how even Tohru reacted to Kyo's true form. If you cannot accept everything about someone, how can you accept them at all? Do you really think she feels like she can accept you for exactly what you are? I don't know if anyone can. I mean, how could they? I'm sure even Kyo can't accept your zodiac form."

_Yuki clenched his teeth around his clothes and dragged, forcing himself to pull them back into the alley before someone came and took them. _

_They seemed so much heavier now._

No one… **no one** can truly accept me?

_End Flashback_

Yuki walked into the house, his throat tight and his mind blank. He was in a daze, leading himself blindly up the steps and pushing the door open without even feeling the contact of the cold wood against his skin. He couldn't feel the change from cold to warm as he stepped into the house, and he barely noticed how his eyes hurt from suddenly going from the dark to light.

He slid blankly out of his coat, just letting it slip off his shoulders and fall to a crumpled heap by the door. His scarf and gloves followed. He tripped out of his shoes, catching himself on a wall he didn't see in front of him, and dragged his feet into the kitchen. They didn't feel attached to his body.

Kyo was sitting at the table, hunched over as he scribbled something down on his homework paper. Somewhere in his mind Yuki registered that it was odd for Kyo to be doing his homework down here, which meant that both Tohru and Shigure must have already been asleep. Was it that late? But it was barely two seconds before the thought vanished from his mind, as invisible as the wind outside.

Yuki stared at Kyo's back, watching the flame-haired boy's shoulders move as he wrote things down on the paper. He didn't even know what he was doing, but as the vague memory of Kyo's lips on his dragged across his mind, his feet pulled themselves forward. Yuki didn't even have time to blink before he found himself on his knees behind Kyo, his arms tight around his cousin's shoulders, his face buried in Kyo's neck.

The only thing he remembered was that Kyo hadn't flinched when he'd touched him. He'd been startled, so he'd jumped, but he hadn't flinched away in disgust, and even now he wasn't moving.

"The hell are you doing?" Kyo snapped, trying to turn around to see him better, but Yuki only gripped Kyo's shoulders so tight Kyo winced like they would break.

"Shut up," Yuki retorted halfheartedly, his throat still to tight and his mind too dazed to put any force behind his words.

He didn't need to. To his shock, Kyo relaxed, slouching back over the table and letting Yuki rest against his shoulder. Yuki nuzzled into Kyo's neck, trying to smother himself in the gentle scent and squeezing his eyes shut. He knew it wouldn't block Akito out, but for now at least he could keep her away from his senses. Feeling Kyo's warmth, seeing Kyo standing before him unharmed, smelling Kyo's skin and hair, hearing Kyo's breath… he didn't think he had the energy to taste Kyo, and he didn't want the cat to move, but it was enough to just have Kyo here.

It was warm, and Kyo felt strong and secure under Yuki's grip. It was soothing to hear his breathing and heartbeat, hidden away safely in his chest. Hidden where maybe even Akito couldn't touch it. She could scream at Kyo's ears and hit his skin so it would bruise, but Kyo's heart would be safe. He couldn't stop the shaky breath escaping from his throat.

And then it hit him that Kyo had been his first kiss. In this room, Kyo had pushed him into a wall, and kissed him. Without the influence of the catnip. The cat had kissed the rat completely out of his own will.

Yuki wasn't sure how long he'd been there, but it must have been at least an hour because he couldn't feel his knees when Kyo suddenly pulled away from him. Yuki blinked, still dazed but this time more of fatigue, and looked around confusedly. Kyo's hands suddenly grabbed onto his and yanked him off of the floor.

Yuki, only half awake, let his cousin lead him through the kitchen and main room, to the stairs, up into the hallway upstairs, and when Yuki finally reached his door his mind had come back to earth enough to realize that Kyo had brought him up to dump him in his room and go back to his night.

It made sense, he had been in the middle of homework and Yuki had barged in and fallen asleep on his shoulder, pinning him down. The cat was probably hungry too. It all made sense… so why was his throat suddenly so tight he could barely breathe?

But when Yuki slowed so Kyo could drag him into his room, he was shocked when Kyo gave him another hard pull and yanked him right past his door before slamming open his own and dragging Yuki inside.

Yuki watched, his eyes wide as Kyo unzipped his sweatshirt and threw it across the room out of the way and then grabbed Yuki's hand again. Kyo laid back, his eyes on the ceiling or the pillow the whole time to never meet Yuki's, and pulled the rat carefully on top of him as he laid his head down. And Yuki found himself draped across Kyo's chest, Kyo right hand on his shoulder and the other tangled lightly in his hair. He blinked, twice, before deciding that the cat wasn't going to move, and shifted so he wasn't pressing on Kyo's lungs so much, laying his head in the crook of Kyo's shoulder and neck. The cat stiffened again before relaxing after a moment, his hands still on Yuki's shoulder and in his hair.

Yuki wasn't sure when he fell asleep. What he did know was that none of his dreams—not a single one—had Akito in them.

Next Day

Yuki drifted awake, only aware of the unnatural heat beneath him that wasn't normally there. He pried his eyelashes free from each other to open his eyes to a black t-shirt that was slightly too small on its wearer.

Yuki leaned his head up, placing his chin on the cat's chest as he stared at Kyo. When the cat was sleeping must have been the only time when he was relaxed. His hair was rumpled and his mouth was hanging slightly open. His shoulders weren't clenched and his feet weren't spread into a fighting stance for better footing if someone happened to say something wrong or provoke him. He was always tense.

No, that wasn't right. When Kyo was happy, if Tohru did something nice or warmed him up somehow his shoulders relaxed, even if his stance didn't. Yuki had also notice the cat cocked his eyebrow when he was smiling, **really** smiling, almost like he was still angry or being sarcastic.

Kyo was always in a fighting stance when he was angry, even if he wasn't mad at Yuki or Haru. He was leaning forward into a half-crouch with his feet a good distance apart just incase the person he was fighting with decided to lunge at him. His fists were always clenched when he was scared too.

Yuki could understand. Especially after Kyo's childhood, everyone attacking him for exactly what he was and everything he did, he would be scared to walk around not alert because anyone could hit him any time. The cat had probably been abused verbally and physically as much as Yuki had over the years—if not more—and most likely not all by Akito. Akito didn't want anything to do with the cat except for making it miserable, but Yuki could name a few of Kyo's immediate family right away who could have beaten Kyo before Kyo was old enough to protect himself.

Yuki blinked, suddenly realizing exactly where he was. Kyo's guard was down, he was completely open, and Yuki was lying on his chest. The **rat** was lying on the cat's chest, and the cat was open to anything the rat could do. Likewise, Kyo could have done anything last night from hitting him to putting a pencil through his throat. He was so out of it last night Tohru could have brought a vampire bat home, saying it was Hana's new pet and she was watching it for the weekend, and Yuki would have just nodded and asked what was for dinner.

Odd. He didn't feel nervous or in danger at all.

He'd never felt more relaxed or… safe. He couldn't ever remember feeling this safe. Safe was something Yuki Sohma… just didn't know.

So then why, why in the arms of the **cat**, did he feel safe?

Next Day

Yuki placed his books in his bag and slipped his coat on, looking around for the flame-colored hair between the crowds of teenagers rushing to get home and out of the cold air biting at their skin. Yuki wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck, pulling it up over his mouth and nose and waiting until his breath had warmed up the cloth before going outside. He guessed that Tohru and Kyo were already outside; he was a little bit late from having to talk to one of his teachers about an upcoming field trip in February. No sooner had he placed his hand on the door before the same flaming hair he had been looking for appeared at his side.

"Tohru decided to work today," Kyo said in a clipped tone, looking anywhere but at Yuki. "Uo's walking her there, so she said we should go."

Yuki just nodded slowly and pushed the door open, wincing as the cold air stung even his eyes.

Yuki slipped his coat off, looking around the dark house before flicking some lights on. He hated how early it got dark during the winter. Snow was on its way, it was one of those things that he could feel in his chest because his lungs pinched twice as much as normal. He could never breathe the day before it snowed.

He hated the winter. Summer had warmth and he could breathe, in summer Akito normally was sick so he could be free to live too. Yuki looked up to Kyo sliding his jacket off of his shoulders, watching the way his flame-colored hair swayed, practically glowing in the dark room. Kyo was like the summer, warm, energetic, hot—

Yuki looked away sharply, nearly tripping over his scarf on the floor. He really needed a new one, this one was to thin and barely worked to keep his skin from burning on a cloudy day. It did absolutely nothing to hold warmth or keep out the icy wind.

Shigure slouched into the kitchen, yawning like an ape, his arms over his head as he stretched.

"Did you just get up?" Yuki asked in disbelief. There was no way even Shigure had slept this late.

"Of course not," Shigure said, like it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "I got up this morning and then I decided to take a nap around noon. It felt wonderful," he yawned again, and then looked over at Yuki, a small smirk on his face, "but it would have been so much better if I'd had someone to hold me and keep me warm on these chilly winter nights."

Yuki froze, but Shigure was already riffling through the fridge for something to eat.

"Damn pervert," Kyo muttered, stomping up the stairs, "I'll make something after I put this in my room."

Thank god that had flown over Kyo's head, or the cat would have exploded at Shigure and there would be no hiding it. If they admitted that had really happened, then if Akito asked, Shigure would have to tell her, whether he wanted to or not.

Shigure stood up, about to say something if the prominent smirk was anything to go by so Yuki quickly spit out, "I need a new scarf before it snows," and yanked his coat back on. He had to get Kyo out of the house to or Shigure would only turn to the cat for his next interrogation victim.

He waited, his hand on the door, until he heard coming back down the stairs before he said, "I won't be gone long, I should be back before it dinner is ready."

"Where the hell are you going at this time?" Kyo asked.

Yuki was betting on Kyo wanting to come with him again because of his asthma.

Kyo blinked at him, his eyebrows cocked, and Yuki waited until Shigure turned around before he nodded his head toward the door.

Kyo's confused expression almost immediately flicked to a very ticked look and he stormed past Yuki to grab his coat. "You'll get yourself killed with your damn asthma—and hell if you think I'm telling Tohru that you froze your lungs when she gets back."

"Are you worried about him, Kyo?" Shigure asked innocently from the hallway.

"You want to tell Tohru the damn rat froze himself to death?" Kyo barked, yanking the door open and storming out. Yuki almost immediately recoiled from the frigid air, but followed Kyo anyways. He could barely hide his smirk behind his coat; hope in whatever opportunities arose for them was now as clear in Kyo's eyes as it was in his.

"We won't be gone long," he told Shigure, who only waved with a smirk, before Yuki shut the door in his face. "Stupid dog," he muttered once outside.

Yuki let his hand drift over the scarves on the display next to the counter. His own thin one was still pulled up over his nose even though they were inside now because the cold seemed to be flat out refusing to leave his nose.

Kyo was over by the store window, his hands tight in his pockets as he paced. Yuki could almost see the steam leaking out of Kyo's ears. He hadn't wanted to take Kyo's scarf even though the cat had practically forcibly wrapped it around his neck and then when they were just about to reach town Yuki's throat had—of course—locked up from the cold air.

It was a miracle the cat hadn't blown after Yuki had been able to breathe again.

He looked back down at the scarf his hand had picked up, shocked at the bright orange color, like fire, in his fingers. He quickly shoved the scarf under a few others and picked up a grey one, marching over to the check out counter before he picked the orange one back out.

He couldn't help but notice that the color almost matched Kyo's hair perfectly.

"You're boyfriend looks mad," the girl at the counter chuckled under her breath as she rang up the scarf. "Jealous? My boyfriend hates it when other guys even look at me and he blows his top like that."

Yuki blinked at her, trying to decide if she was talking to him before he remembered the scarf over his face. He probably would look like a girl with Kyo acting like an overprotective rooster by the window.

"He's just worried," Yuki said before he could shut his mouth, not exactly sure why he had said it. "I have asthma and I didn't want to take his scarf earlier."

The girl laughed again as she slipped the scarf into a bag and handed it to Yuki, watching Kyo continue to wear the floor smooth as he paced. "Lucky. My boyfriend will only give me his coat because he never gets cold, but he always acts annoyed to try and hide that he's worried. You're boyfriend must really care about you if he doesn't mind other people seeing him scared like this," she smiled. Yuki barely managed a nod at her before walking away.

…Kyo cared? The thought had crossed his mind, but it had also crossed his mind that the 'caring' feeling was just on his side.

No. The cat didn't get worried. And especially not about **him** of all people. Tohru. Tohru he got worried for and he showed it regularly, whether he wanted to or not. Kyo was never really good about hiding his emotions, whether it was anger, sadness… or even fear. There just hadn't been a lot of opportunities for Yuki to see Kyo scared, so he hadn't recognized it at first.

Yuki held his old scarf tightly in his pocket, trying to feel Kyo's warm fur in the scarf's worn out fabric. His memory and imagination couldn't make it real enough to chase away the cold air.

Yuki's eyes flicked to the right where Kyo was walking by his side. He didn't look nearly as mad now, which was good, because Shigure would have a **lot** of questions if they got home mad.

He blinked again, his eyes scanning the rest of the street. The clock back in the store had said it was only nine thirty, but… there was no one on the street. Not a single person. Granted, they'd taken a route not as well known home the way back, but for there to be no one…?

Yuki's eyes flicked back to Kyo, and in that split second he saw the opportunity. Before he even knew what he was doing, he had yanked his scarf down and shoved Kyo sideways into an alley.

"Fuck!" Kyo shouted in shock, catching himself against the wall Yuki had slammed himself into before he slipped on the icy ground. "The hell are you—"

Yuki didn't let himself think. He didn't let himself register that he had Kyo backed into a brick wall on the side of god knows what building. He didn't tell himself that with his scarf down he would probably lose his breath any second. He just yanked his gloves off, grabbed the sides of Kyo's face, and slammed his lips over the cat's.

It barely took Kyo a half a second to react, and in the exact second Yuki moved to pin Kyo's arms to his side to keep him where he was, the cat's arms latched onto the back of his coat, pulling Yuki so harshly into Kyo that Yuki was sure he'd heard his spine snap.

Yuki grabbed the back of Kyo's neck and Kyo flung his arm around the rat's. They moved in sync, in exact opposites the way enemies would, each fighting to hold the other tighter, to not be the first to let go.

But Yuki still wasn't letting himself think. He could feel the desperation in both of their lips. Neither had to say it, they each knew that they would have very short and **very** infrequent times together like this. Shigure's house was too dangerous now just because Shigure was suspicious. They both understood without words and just through the touch of their hands that they were thinking the exact same thing.

Yuki was unconsciously wondering how living apart without ever touching and sometimes not even being near Kyo would work, but he didn't want to think about it. He only wanted to feel. To feel Kyo's lips on his, his hands on his back under his coat, holding him as close as possible.

"You're back!" Tohru called happily from the kitchen, stirring some sort of stew on the stove. Her smile dropped to a confused half smile as Yuki and Kyo walked in and hung up their coats, neither looking at anyone, but both trying to smother the small smiles on their faces. "Is… uh, is everything ok? I mean… well, did you get what you needed, Yuki?" she asked carefully.

"Everything's fine," Kyo answered, smiling at her with his head tilted slightly before walking past her into the living room.

"Uh…" she looked back and forth between them as Kyo sat down on the couch, seeming incapable of paying attention to whatever was on the TV, and Yuki just smiled at her.

"Everything went fine, Ms. Honda, I got a thicker scarf," he told her before starting up the stairs. "I'll be back in just a minute."

"A-All right!" she called after him, blinking in confusion once they were both gone.

What does every yaoi lovin' fan think? 3

Rate and comment! Please! (1-10)


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own anything but my ideas.

XXX

The fall months were gone in almost a blink of an eye. Too much had happened for Yuki to really pay attention to anything, whether it was student council, midterms coming up, Christmas and the inevitable New Year's visit to the main house, or even the snow that forced him to wear three layers lest he die of a coughing fit, either from being too cold or from accidentally smothering himself under the covers trying to stay warm. Extra layers seemed the best choice of the three.

But even through the outrageous cold, Tohru's insane preparations for the holiday season, including at least three full-course meals that Yuki had counted her planning—one for everyone in Shigure's, one for the rest of the Sohmas, and one for her two friends—and Shigure's incredibly annoying talk about what sexy elf outfit he would get for Tohru this Christmas, Yuki still had only been able to concentrate on one thing. The fact that his lips still burned like fire where Kyo had kissed him. It was the only part of his body that wouldn't let itself feel the cold.

The second thing that his mind was completely overrun with was the obvious fact that since that day in the city, they had been unable to get anywhere near each other. Tohru didn't stay late at work anymore because of the weather. Shigure didn't stay in his study because he had just finished a novel just in time for the holiday season and could afford to be on a break for a few weeks.

But the real reason was the boar of the zodiac, who had smashed through yet another door in her excitement to see Kyo and had forced everyone to live upstairs to escape the cold until they could get someone out there to fix it.

Kagura was ballistic around Kyo. She stuck to his arm like rubber glue, cooked for him, took over washing his clothes for Tohru and a heap of other things that she somehow managed to detrimentally screw up and cause more damage to the house. Yuki was just glad she didn't let in anymore cold air; the risk of him having to stay at the main house if Shigure's house got too cold for his bronchial tubes was just too high. He was starting to consider asking Kagura to leave himself. But the worst of it all, was that every time he saw Kagura around Kyo, acid bubbled in his stomach like fire and he wanted to drag Kyo away from the girl, forcibly if the need so arose.

Kyo had lived in his room the first few days, but after Kagura had calmed down he had started appearing more and more downstairs like a frightened alley cat. After a week, Kagura was loud, but she wasn't violent anymore. Kyo yelled at her when she grabbed onto him, but Yuki could see him starting to put up with more and more, and he wanted nothing but to slap Kyo across the face and knock some sense into him, and then to slap Kagura for good measure and to relieve the stress she kept building up in him every time she clung to Kyo.

Yuki walked slowly up the stairs, calmly tuning out Kyo snarling at Kagura downstairs for her never leaving him alone. His skin crawled when he saw her draped over the cat, and after ten minutes of Kagura calling him, "Love," Yuki finally said enough and left, ignoring Kyo's pathetic and helpless look. The idiot deserved it for never really pushing her away. He knew that wasn't true, but he was too mad right now to care.

He paused, looking in through Tohru's open door to see her sitting on the floor, holding something in her hands.

"Miss Honda?" he stepped in carefully, not wanting to disturb her. This wasn't the first time he had caught her so distracted.

"Oh!" she jumped, clutching the thing in her hands—a hair tie with a small cluster of beads on it—to her chest before she tried to shove it away without him seeing it. "Oh, Yuki! I'm sorry; I didn't hear you come in! Are you hungry? Kyo probably is, but Kagura will want to make him dinner—oh, but of course I can start on yours!" she jumped up, trying to dash by him to the kitchen.

Yuki winced as he watched her go. Of course she was upset. Was he stupid? She was in love with the cat of the zodiac; of course another woman cooking for him would upset her.

Yuki bit into his lip sharply before continuing to his own room. Something inside him—something he desperately wanted to trample and shove, beaten, into a corner—kept asking if he could do that to Tohru.

_Can I really take Kyo away from her? She doesn't deserve that, not after everything she's done for this family and everything she's been through. Besides, it would be dangerous for both Kyo and I if we were together, not to mention that Tohru would probably get kicked out if anyone found out. _

_No. No one will find out. But still… she lost her father and her mother… I can't take Kyo away from her too. She's the one who helped us both to open ourselves to the world. Without her, nothing would have changed and Kyo and I would still be trying to kill each other every chance we got. She deserves to be happy, and I know Kyo's happy with her. It's obvious to see that._

He couldn't explain the bile on the back of his tongue, but he quickly swallowed the taste. It didn't matter anyways; he and Kyo didn't have a chance. With Tohru, at least Kyo could still be happy. Yuki could grow old alone; Akito had always wanted him for herself anyways. There was no sense in trying for something that wasn't available to him.

And Tohru, poor Tohru hadn't looked happy since Kagura got here, not unless the boar wasn't doting over Kyo at that moment. She must feel lonely, being the only girl in the house most of the times, and the only one who wasn't cursed to know of the curse. Yuki could understand the feeling of being totally alone; he didn't know if he could take Kyo away from her.

XXX

Exactly three days after Christmas, exactly three days after Kagura left, exactly three days after Tohru finally looked happy again, exactly three days after Yuki had finally decided to talk to Kyo for the first time in two weeks, Akito called.

Yuki's hands were clenched, his fingers wound in themselves to the point where they were so numb he wasn't sure if they were getting any blood at all, but that wasn't what his mind was focused on. Actually, he wished his mind wasn't so occupied so he could actually tell if he needed to release his finger lest they fall off or if they could survive another ten minutes. Akito rarely kept him long for tea, it was the other visits, the "friendly" visits where Akito just wanted to talk, that scared him so much it was a miracle he got his tongue to move to answer Akito's questions.

"So, Yuki," her long, cold voice drawled from behind her cup, the steam from the tea very visible in the cold room. Yuki would have thought it would be warmer because she was so sick, but she knew about his asthma, it could have been just to unnerve him more. It was working. Already his breathing was more grating than normal, even when he was here in the main house normally.

"How has everyone at Shigure's been? I'm sorry I haven't been out to see you all recently, I'm afraid haven't been very well as of late."

Yuki barely managed a nod, his fingers clenched tighter in his lap. "Everyone has been fine," he choked out, amazed it was audible.

"And how is Tohru, now that it's almost the New Year?"

Yuki swallowed, keeping the movement to a bare minimum. The only thing he could think of every time Akito asked about Tohru was Hatori and Kanna. He had to keep everything said about her minimal and quiet, no emotions, no events, no trips, nothing funny, none of her jokes or cooking or smiles. He also knew that it was extremely dangerous to mention any of the Sohmas while talking about her.

"She's doing fine, she's been helping with the school festival coming up in the spring."

"Ah," Akito nodded before her shoulders suddenly quivered with silent chuckling. "Why are you so tense, Yuki?"

Yuki froze, not allowing himself to blink or breathe as he tried desperately to come up with a plausible excuse before Akito turned slowly to look out the window.

"Don't worry."

Yuki blinked, looking up to the black eyes staring out the window to some unseen thing, a faint smile on her lips.

A smile that made ice shoot up Yuki's spine.

"The cat won't be around for long," Akito finally said, though Yuki wasn't sure if it was directed to him or if Akito was just talking to herself. "You won't have to fight for Tohru."

Yuki's mouth ran dry, and he carefully picked up his tea and sipped at it, praying to god that his hand would stop shaking long enough to keep the tea from spilling. What did she mean? Where was Kyo going?

His eyes were still frozen watching hers, watching the excited and sadistic emotions flash behind their depths, and he knew that whatever it was, wherever it was that Kyo was going, was nowhere good.

Later

Yuki closed the door behind him, the movement so slow he was sure he let out almost half of the heat in the house, but he could even feel the cold wind running over his cheeks, uncovered because he hadn't been focused enough to wrap the scarf over his mouth. He wasn't even sure if his breathing was rough or not.

Yuki slipped off his coat and missed the hanger as he went to hang it up and it fell to a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Oh! Welcome back, Yuki!" Tohru said happily, her head popping into view from around the corner. She blinked curiously when he just walked by her, like he hadn't even seen her, and then cocked her head, perplexed, when she saw his coat on the floor.

Yuki stumbled into the kitchen, only half aware of what he was doing. Shigure at least knew not to say anything this time as he watched from his study door. Yuki picked up a pair of chopsticks on the counter and started nibbling at the rice, his breathing already easier.

He set them down shakily, though it was much more like dropping them, and turned to start up the stairs. Kyo appeared in the doorway in front of his and Yuki quickly ducked his head, keeping his eyes to the floor. If nothing else, Kyo couldn't know that anything was wrong. He didn't want to scare Kyo before he even knew what was going on.

"Uh, Yuki, dinner is almost ready…" Tohru said slowly.

He forced his eyes away from the wood, managing to make his lips form a smile. "Thank you Miss Honda, but I'm not very hungry now."

Yuki almost tripped three times up the stairs, keeping his hand on the wall so he could stay a safe distance away from it; he didn't need to walk into a corner and freak everyone out more. He was almost to his door when a hand on his arm stopped him, and he turned to find Kyo staring at him. Somehow, that worried face reassured him, along with the questioning eyes asking him wordlessly if he was all right. It reminded him that he was still here. They were both still here.

"_Don't worry. The cat won't be around for long."_

Yuki's brow furrowed and he looked around quickly before grabbing Kyo's wrist and pulling him into his room. He closed his door with his foot and yanked Kyo into a tight hug, holding the cat as close as possible with both of their heads buried in each other's necks, breathing in each other's auras. Kyo wasn't gone. He was here. He was safe. He was fine.

It felt so amazing to hold him after weeks of not even being able to even look in each other's eyes without risk of suspicion from everyone else in the house.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out," he whispered into Kyo's shoulder, hoping the cat wouldn't pursue it. Akito despised Kyo so much; he couldn't tell him he was worried about something concerning him after coming back from the main house.

He wasn't even sure why what Akito said had shook him so much, but he knew that whatever Akito meant, it was bad.

It was amazing how relaxed he felt all of a sudden. He could breathe like he was on an oxygen tank, like there wasn't cold weather outside. It was one of the first times in forever that he felt this relaxed, and unconsciously his arms tightened around Kyo.

It felt like he belonged, something he'd never really felt before.

…He really needed Kyo, didn't he?

Two Days Later

Yuki yawned, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets as he trudged home. Another long day after student council; he would have to do something about the hours he spent there. The back of his neck prickled again, for the third time since he'd turned off of the road from the school, and he snuck a glance over his shoulder to find a group of eight men behind him. He dismissed it and turned back to the road, unconsciously walking faster as his neck prickled again. What was going on?

XXX

Kyo jolted, setting down his chopsticks as the feeling almost made him sick all over the table. He closed his eyes and squeezed his hand into a fist, waiting until the feeling passed before he looked up, bracing himself for Tohru's worry.

"Was the food bad?" she launched into an apology the second he was looking at her, but he couldn't even get his tongue to form the words even though his mouth was open.

His head was pounding all of a sudden, and this feeling of… **just deserves** was about to make him hurl. Even Shigure looked nervous now.

It was the cat. The sprit of the cat, and it was happy like Kyo had never felt it before. It honestly scared him how happy the cat was, because the feelings were leaking into him and making him happy. Sadistically happy. Like the cat was going to get what it had been owed years ago.

XXX

Yuki knew he looked like a girl sometimes. With the long coat and the scarf for his asthma, he must have looked like a girl from behind. He was walking a lot faster now, the group had been behind him for a while now and something inside of him was terrified for him. Telling him to run.

It was ridiculous, he didn't have to run and he couldn't anyway unless he wanted to give himself an asthma attack. He was too far away from home and running the whole way would make him pass out. This winter had been particularly bad ever since the visit to Akito. What she had said about Kyo being gone soon… it scared him almost as much as something inside him was now.

XXX

"Kyo, are you ok?" Tohru tried again, getting onto her knees just incase she needed to help him.

Kyo shook his head, staggering up from the table. The cat was so happy, screaming and yowling in his head about how it was finally here, about how its time had finally come.

"I… I need… I'll be … I need some air…" Kyo said slowly, dashing out of the dining room. He needed to go. He had to go. He didn't know why or where, but the cat was just too happy. The spirit of the cat had never once in all of the years he'd lived been happy.

Kyo grabbed his coat, barely sure of what he was doing, and raced out the door, so distracted he left it open behind him. He just… needed to go. There was somewhere…

XXX

Yuki lashed out at the first hand on his arm, catching the man right across the jaw, but the others immediately grabbed his coat. Yuki dragged his feet, throwing as many punches and kicks as he could, but it was still eight against him, and his asthma was only hurting things. It only took him a second to realize that they were dragging him to an alley to their left and he started thrashing more against them.

Yuki braced himself to tear his arms out of their grips when the guy he had punched first got up off the ground and roughly yanked his scarf down.

The shock took a moment to register on his face, but not long before he bellowed, "He's a fucking **guy**!"

Yuki let himself breathe. Now they would only rob him, maybe he could get away if he fought hard enough, but he wasn't sure if he could get home after that because of his breathing. It would be easier to just give them—

"Who cares? You can never find a fucking virgin girl anyways and I'm tired of walking around."

Yuki froze, and then someone reached for the buttons on his coat and Yuki nearly broke his back as he violently launched himself back, trying to tear himself out of their grips. His fist caught someone else across the cheek and he didn't stop there, kicking another two in the gut and the knee before they could really react to what he had done. He couldn't breathe. They were too close. Someone's knee caught his hip and his vision flashed black for a moment and Akito was standing in front of him, smiling and holding a bottle she had broken by smashing it on his hip. She would have hit his head but he had dove out of the way at the last second.

A strangled gasp rolled off of Yuki's tongue and he smashed his hand into someone else's jaw. He didn't know how many were left, he couldn't think clearly enough to even begin to count. He just had to get them away.

A hand suddenly grabbed his hair and wrenched him to the side, his head cracking against the side of the brick building. The world spun and Yuki slid to the ground, his hand scraping against the wall as the bricks whirled in front of him.

Akito flashed behind his eyes again and Yuki curled in on himself. The alley was dark and they were standing too close to him, his chest was tight, his head was throbbing, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. It was like being in one of Akito's rooms. Yuki swallowed, unable to do anything else as hands started yanking on his hair and coat, and tried to will himself not to feel anything.

And then all of a sudden the hands were gone. Yuki inwardly heard some trashcans being knocked over, but all he could do was press his throbbing forehead into the cold brick. He wasn't even sure if he was really breathing now.

"Yuki?"

Yuki tipped his head up slowly, and the bright orange was the first thing that caught his eye. It was like fire in the dark alley, bright and warm, and already he could breathe easier.

Yuki froze as one of the men appeared over Kyo's shoulder, sporting a very large bruise on his face Yuki knew Kyo had given him, but there was no air in his lungs and he couldn't tell Kyo to move before the man's foot connected with the cat's cheek, sending him flying.

Yuki saw red. His body was moving before Kyo had even his the ground and he launched himself at the man, smashing him back into the wall behind him and watching how he slumped to the ground. All of the others were out cold; Kyo had taken care of that.

Yuki dropped to the ground as Kyo sat up and grabbed the back of the cat's neck, pressing their foreheads together as one of Kyo's hands moved to hold the back of his neck. This was better than a kiss. They could feel each other's breath on their cheeks; they were both alive and fine.

Next Day

Yuki stepped silently down the stairs, checking carefully to make sure neither Tohru nor Shigure were around before he continued into the kitchen where Kyo was sitting at the table, eating a mid-afternoon snack.

Everyone had been wondering how Yuki got the obnoxiously large scrape on his forehead. Only he and Kyo knew that if anyone looked in the alley where Yuki had been thrown into the wall, they would find a smear of blood on the brick. Whether they had voiced it or not, Yuki knew everyone was curious because it wasn't often that anyone besides Akito left bruises on him, let alone actually made him bleed. People also didn't have to actually ask him what had happened for him to know that they were all wondering if Kyo had actually landed a hit on him.

Kyo looked up as Yuki sat down next to him, his eyes questioning. It was too dangerous for either of them to ask if the other was all right, because if anyone heard…

Yuki bit the inside of his lip, keeping his eyes to the ground as he reached into his pocket, drew out a white valerian, and set it on the table in front of Kyo. It was supposed to be like the catnip, he'd heard cats liked the smell.

Yuki shrugged as Kyo stared at it. "Thanks… for yesterday," he whispered so no one would hear.

"I'm not a girl," Kyo snapped softly, but he picked up the flower anyway, holding it delicately between two fingers as he twisted it, making the petals spin.

"…Smells good," he said softly, looking back into Yuki's eyes. Yuki just nodded, understanding that they couldn't get any closer even if both of them wanted to. "…About tomorrow—"

"I know," Yuki cut him off. He knew. Tomorrow would be hell on both of them.

New Year's Day.

Next Day

The room was almost silent though fourteen people were scattered around in it. Momiji, of course, was chattering away happily to Kisa, and Hiro would throw in something occasionally, but even though Shigure, Hatori and Ayame were all in the same room, they had barely said anything to each other, or anyone else for that matter.

Slowly, Akito sat up straighter and set her tea down, instantly everyone was just a little more alert and a little more on edge.

"Yuki," she said, making his spine freeze in painful ways, "how have things progressed with Tohru? She hasn't been brought by the Main House recently and I haven't been hearing much of her."

Yuki felt his throat go dry, wondering how many of the other zodiac members had been asked about Tohru and what they had said. Any wrong word and Tohru was gone.

Yuki took a deep breath, wondering what she wanted to hear. He noticed that she kept glancing at Kyo, standing with his back to everyone at the window, so he took another breath and hoped that this was what she wanted to hear, "I would like things to, even though nothing has yet."

Yuki let himself relaxed as nothing in Akito's eyes or stance changed. That was what she wanted to hear. Everyone else looked a little shocked; but not surprised by what he said, just shocked that he **would** say it to Akito, especially after Kanna. It seemed that Akito wasn't the only one who thought Yuki was in love with Tohru.

Yuki watched as Kyo got steadily stiffer as no one's eyes left him, and then all at once Kyo turned and left the room without looking back to make sure he hadn't set off Akito.

Yuki quickly glanced to Akito to make sure she wasn't about to go ballistic from what she would consider rude, but she was only glaring after the cat, her position still relaxed. Yuki couldn't tell what the glare was for, but it didn't seem to be about the fact that Kyo had just left.

Later

Later, a **lot** later to be safe from suspicions, Yuki made up the first excuse for fresh air that he could—something to do with his asthma, he didn't remember—slipped on his coat and calmly stepped out into the dusting of snow.

His eyes scanned the trees, bushes and wall around the Main House as he walked, trying to pick Kyo out.

Yuki felt a light smile touch his lips as he spotted the fiery orange hair through the trees, and thank god for his hair because Kyo's old coat blended in perfectly with the trees. Yuki was just glad Kyo hadn't gone home.

Kyo lifted his head from where he was leaning against the tree to follow Yuki with his eyes as the rat stepped into the trees after him and moved to stand in front of him.

Neither spoke, not really looking at anything in particular, before Kyo finally shifted, drawing Yuki's eyes up to him as he spoke.

"I was thinking…" Kyo begin slowly, half shrugging as he looked at the ground, his hands still in his pockets, "should we tell Tohru about us? She could help us…"

Yuki shook his head, stepping closer to Kyo. "We can't ask her to do that; it's too much. Besides, it would put her in danger if Akito ever found out."

Kyo just nodded after a moment and Yuki felt something inside him break. They both knew the dangers in this, and they both knew that they might have to hide this for years, and even have to pretend to themselves that nothing had happened to keep it a secret. He had kissed the cat of the zodiac. Unforgivable. But to Kyo, it was a sin punishable only by something akin to death in Akito's eyes. Carefully, his hand reached out and two of his fingers brushed against Kyo's arm. Kyo looked up and Yuki just cocked his head slightly, letting the tiny smile back on his lips, telling him wordlessly that they would figure something out.

Something moved in to the side of Yuki's gaze, and his eyes flicked to the right curiously. Yuki froze, the smile falling off his lips as his mouth fell open with a small pop. His eyes went as wide as the moon and his lungs wouldn't take in any air as he took a step back from Kyo, his hand dropping back to his side.

Kyo pushed away from the tree, unsure if he should reach out to the rat. Something was wrong; he knew that just by looking at the terror in Yuki's eyes.

Yuki took another frantic step backward, and just as Kyo turned his head to the side, out of nowhere Akito appeared in front of Kyo and punched Yuki across the face hard enough to knock him flying into the tree behind him. Kyo could only watch as the rat's forehead hit the tree with a solid crack and he slid to the ground, his eyes open and glazed over as he lay in the snow.

Kyo reached toward Yuki—his instant reaction as blood started to soak the snow—and Akito slapped him across the face hard enough to send him stumbling backwards with a shriek. She lunged forward and grabbed him by his hair, wrenching him to the side where he sliced his palm open on a rock as he hit the ground.

Everyone was watching from the porch, but no one could work up the courage to go over to Yuki. Akito was standing above Kyo, her hands shaking with how livid she was—so furious that she couldn't even hit Kyo. Haru stepped back slowly, making sure Akito didn't turn on him before he looked to Hatori, who gave him a quick nod and he ran for the phone.

The last thing Yuki saw before his vision totally blurred over was the snow around him going red and Kyo staring at him with horror in his eyes, his hand bleeding where the rock cut him and his muscles twitching with his need to do something, but Akito's furry was holding him in place.

_No. Don't help me. She'll kill you._

Read, Rate and Review!

Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own anything but my ideas.

To whoever wrote the comment asking if I'm writing other stories, I can't write back because you don't have an account, but I would like to say that I have many other stories, though not all are in Fruits Basket. I've written for Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club and Bleach

Hospital

Kyo's hands were tight in his pockets, and with everyone else freaking out and Tohru hyperventilating at his side, it took everything he had not to freak out too and lose it on the goddamn hospital staff who wouldn't stop asking if he was being attended to, but also wouldn't just stitch up his goddamn hand already. He was bleeding all over the floor!

Finally a nurse came to get him, and with one last glance at the closed door Yuki was behind, he followed her into another room and sat down in one of the chairs. She cleaned his gash and easily stitched it up, all the while asking if it hurt or if he felt dizzy at all, but the only thing he felt was dazed. The image of Yuki lying in a puddle of his own frozen blood was burned into his eyes.

She finally took the hint and left after he gave her the automatic short responses to questions about how he'd gotten hurt. It was standard with Akito; she would make anyone's life hell if they ever told anyone outside the zodiac what she did. For a moment, he considered telling the nurse the truth to get Akito locked up if it would keep something like that from ever happening to Yuki again, but he couldn't make himself say it.

Kyo's eyes snapped up suddenly as someone appeared in the doorway, stiffening as he saw Akito leaning against the doorframe, staring blankly at him.

"What do you want?" he asked, disgusted by how little power was behind his voice.

She looked around the room for a moment, fiddling with a loose thread on her coat before she looked to him out of the corner of her eye and said, "You know no one will ever love you."

Kyo flinched, his brow furrowing as he stared back into her cold eyes. Suddenly, his coat wasn't keeping him warm and his hand was throbbing that much more.

"You should also know by now that those who get close to you are cursed to be hurt," she drawled, tracing her finger along the doorframe slowly. "Just like how you are cursed."

Kyo tried to close his ears, to not hear anything she was saying, but her voice was like poison, and he'd always been bad at blocking people out, no matter how much he wanted to.

"You know you're a monster," Akito continued mercilessly. "People might pretend for your sake, but no one can ever **truly** love you for who you are, even in your human form."

Kyo kept his gaze hard on the floor, his fists tight and about to split the stitches in his palm.

"If you had just accepted that, Yuki wouldn't be in here right now. You truly are a monster for being so selfish."

Kyo's hands clenched tighter and the blood started to trickle down his hand again, dripping to the floor as a few of the stitches split.

His fault.

It was always his fault.

Shigure's House

Kyo slammed the door behind him, hurling his coat at the wall as he stomped to the stairs. He was too mad to feel anything, though the dull sting in his hand kept pulling him back to his fear of Yuki's condition. He grabbed the railing and started up, stopping only when he heard Shigure mention his name on the phone in the hall.

"I know, we all saw, Hari. **I** was happy. Surprised maybe that they were finally getting along, but Akito just… went ballistic. I know she and Kyo… well, I didn't think she would be so against them being friends at least, I guess her definition of the cat and rat despising each other is much stronger then the rest of ours."

He paused, listening to what Hatori was saying. "Two weeks? Yuki really might be asleep for that long? I know they're giving him medicine to help the pain and the swelling, but…" he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what he and Yuki were thinking, trying to breach the gap between them at the Main House, but I hope this doesn't, you know, cut off their efforts to be friends completely."

Another pause. "No, you're right, Yuki won't blame him," Shigure shifted to lean against the wall, his eyes closed with the stress. "Well, Yuki was just too traumatized by Akito's abuse when he was younger, I think seeing her that mad just… made him freeze up," he stopped again as Hatori spoke. "I know, I'll keep an eye on Kyo and make sure he doesn't disappear."

Shigure nodded a few times, his fingers toying with his kimono. "Yes, Tohru seems all right. After I got her calmed down and explained that Yuki would be fine, she started organizing a date for his friends at school to go visit him. I'm not sure about Kyo, but if they really are becoming friends, Yuki will probably want to see him to make sure Akito didn't attack him too. All right, well, call with any updates about Yuki? Thanks, Hari, goodbye."

…_They think we're just trying to be friends. _Unconsciously, Kyo let out a relieved breath and continued up the stairs.

_XXX_

_Yuki followed Akito down the dank hallway, being extremely careful not to step on the end of her robe as he walked. The light was to dim here to see colors clearly and the smell of mildew was strong, strong enough to make Yuki's breathing more difficult because of his asthma._

_Akito suddenly stopped, turning to a closed door, her eyes blank as she stared at it._

_Yuki stepped forward after a moment of waiting for her to tell him not to and put his hand on the doorknob._

"_I'll send Kureno when your time is up," she said quietly and turned away, disappearing into the blackness of the hallway._

_Yuki watched her go, waiting until he was sure she couldn't see him before he pulled the door open and stepped inside. Yuki slid the door closed behind him and stood there for a moment, waiting until his eyes adjusted._

_A bolt of ice shot down his spine and he had to close his eyes, gripping the doorknob tighter to keep memories of him backed into a corner in rooms just like this with Akito advancing on him with a whip or something hard. He held his breath, waiting until he had control so he didn't have the overpowering urge to turn around and get out of there as fast as possible._

_Little by little he could see more and more in the black room, and very slowly a figure came into view at the other side of the room. Yuki swallowed and let go of the door, walking forward as the person slowly became more visible. He took in the chains on their wrists holding them to the wall, the bruises and blood covering the pasty skin and the broken look in their eyes. Yuki flinched. Kyo had never had that broken look before, but the blood meant that he still hadn't given into Akito like Kureno had, and somehow that gave him strength._

_Yuki stood over Kyo a moment, looking around to make sure no one else was there watching to protect Kyo for more beatings before he dropped to his knees and flung his arms around Kyo's neck. Hot, angry tears were burning his eyes, but he didn't dare let them fall for Kyo's sake._

_Kyo looked up and Yuki kissed him gently, holding the back of his neck as he pressed their foreheads together, concentrating on Kyo's breath on his cheeks. He was still alive._

_Kyo reached up weakly and touched Yuki's cheek, the cold chains brushing against Yuki's skin as he did. Yuki leaned into the touch, kissing Kyo again as he kept their foreheads touching and Kyo's breath on his skin._

"_Don't worry," Kyo said finally, and Yuki felt his heart stop racing. There was still strength in Kyo's voice. He hadn't given up yet._

"_I'm not going anywhere," Kyo told him firmly, reaching up to hold the back of his neck and touch their noses together lightly._

"_I'm going to get you out of here," Yuki said. "I talked to Master, he said you can hide at the dojo until we have enough money to leave. Just wait a little longer."_

_Kyo nodded, smiling lightly. "I'll wait."_

_XXX_

"_Shigure, is Akito here? I need to see Kyo again, Akito said that I would be able to every few weeks," Yuki asked, jogging up to the dog. He was going to get the cat out today. His heart was soaring, just knowing he would get to see the light in Kyo's crimson eyes again. Instantly Shigure's face turned grave and his brow furrowed._

"_Has… no one told you?" Shigure asked carefully._

"…_Told me what?"_

"…_Shigure?" Yuki asked, backing away slowly. Shigure remained silent and Yuki whirled, racing away and into the dark hallway Akito had taken him in before. Something was wrong, why wouldn't Shigure answer him? He looked so miserable and… apologetic too._

_Yuki flew down the hallway and it grew darker and darker around him, the mildew starting to hurt his nose as he went deeper into the darkness._

_He skidded to a stop as Akito appeared in front of him. Yuki's eyes went wide; her eyes were happy, something he'd almost never seen. But that wasn't what had stopped him from going any closer; it was the large blood splatter on her cheek and down the front of her kimono, practically glowing in the darkness. Somehow Yuki knew it wasn't her blood._

_Akito looked up to him and tilted her head to the side, a smug smile stretching across her face. "We had a little accident."_

_The panic reared up in Yuki and his body moved without him telling it to. He shoved by her, racing farther into the blackness until he came to the same door as last time and threw it open._

_The dim light from the hallway shined in, lighting up the room just enough for Yuki to see in._

_The chains were lying empty on the floor, Kyo nowhere in sight, and then Yuki saw the wall behind where Kyo had sat. Blood was spattered like paint across the wall and a pool had formed at the side paneling where it had dripped to the floor._

_Yuki whirled to find Akito standing just inches behind him and gasped, stumbling back into the room and flinching as his heels touched the blood, still warm, on the floor._

"_The cat is dead," Akito whispered, her smile wild and the blood on her cheek glowing in the dark room. "Finally we are rid of the monster."_

_Yuki couldn't move, the air was smothering and he could feel himself sinking into the blood below him. He grabbed frantically for something to hold onto, but when his fingers touched the chains on the floor he couldn't stop his body from flinching back violently, and then his body dropped into the blood with a loud splash, and he lost sight of Akito through the red._

_He was drowning, no matter how hard he fought, he kept sinking and the blood kept trying to rush into his lungs and suffocate him. He couldn't do anything, he didn't fight hard enough for Kyo and now he was dead. Gone. _

_He couldn't protect him. He let Akito __**kill **__him._

_Kyo was gone. Yuki had lost him again. Again. They were both alone. And it was eating him alive from the inside out._

Yuki shot up in bed choking on the oxygen mask and the hospital gown tied too tightly around his neck. He yanked off the plastic over his nose and grabbed the neck of the gown, breaking the ties with one hard yank and leaned over the side of the bed, gasping for breath until the need to throw up was gone.

Yuki clutched at the bedside, looking frantically around the room.

_What happened? I... I don't remember!_

Yuki closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on keeping himself breathing, and slowly it came back to him.

The blood around his eye, soaking into the white snow and turning it red, and Akito standing, snarling over Kyo.

_What if Akito really did attack him? _Yuki tried to calm himself down and then lungedfor the phone of the bedside table and yanked it to him, sending the cradle crashing to the floor as he did.

_It feels like I can't even see! _Yuki's breathing was erratic and his fingers shook as he tried to dial the number, and then he realized that there was a bandage over his eye from where he had hit the tree. _How hard did she throw me into it? I'm so disoriented._

Shigure's House

"Hello?" Shigure picked up the phone, blinking at the receiver to make sure he wasn't hearing things. "Yuki?"

Kyo ground to a halt at the bottom of the stairs. _Yuki? _

"Are you really awake?" Shigure continued. "Hari said you'd be unconscious for a while, even a few more days… you took a really nasty blow there, are you feeing all right? …You sound out of breath."

Shigure paused, nodding a few times before he spoke again. "Yuki… Yuki, what—calm down—what happened? All right, Yuki, I... no it's just me here. Actually, Kyo's here, Tohru's at work… do you **want **to speak to Kyo? …Ok, hold on. Kyo?" Shigure leaned back to look down the hallway, blinking when he heard the door slam.

"Yuki… I think Kyo just went out, but he should be back soon—Yuki?" Shigure looked down at the receiver curiously. "Hello? Yuki…? Hello?"

Hospital

Yuki gasped as the door opened, immediately scrambling back until a nurse walked in. He felt cold and vulnerable; he didn't know the surroundings or the exits, he only had a hospital gown and the thin blanket and there was no one here he knew. Shigure had said he was supposed to sleep for a few more days, how long had he been out already?

"Are you all right?" the woman asked, jogging over to the bed, watching his heart monitor, the beeping at an out of control pace. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Yuki was still gasping for breath enough that he couldn't answer, he was shocked Shigure had been able to understand him over the phone. The feedback must have balanced it out. He had to look like a psychotic with a bandage over one eye and choking because of a dream, but it still didn't prepare him for what she said next.

"Here, I'll give you a sedative to help you get back to sleep," she smiled, wheeling a tray with several different bottles and syringes over from the other side of the room.

Yuki scrambled back again, choking out pleas for her not to and shaking his head. He wasn't strong enough to fend her off.

"It won't hurt," she reassured him, filling a needle with god knows what kind of liquid. "Yuki, you've suffered a cerebral contusion, you'll probably want to sleep for at least another two days. Can you tell me where you live? Do you remember? It's ok if you don't."

_Two days? No. No, I can't!_ Yuki ripped his arm away as she reached for him, trying to push himself back farther into the bed.

"What about how old you are? Do you remember what year of school you're in?"

The questions were bombarding him, rattling his mind inside of his head like someone was playing the drums on his skull. He couldn't breathe and the world was spinning again; he couldn't even see where she was clearly, all he knew was that every few seconds a hand was on his arm trying to pump him full of a sedative so strong he wouldn't wake up if he had his arm chopped off.

_I can't go to sleep! _Yuki tried to force his voice to say, but nothing but gurgled chokes came out as he tried to thrash away. _Kyo! What if Akito—? I need to know what she did to him! If she put __**me**__ in the hospital, then Kyo…! _

"Honey, you're having a panic attack, I need you to calm down before you hurt yourself!" the nurse tried again and Yuki forced out a cry as she clamped down on his upper arm again, wrenching his arm away from her at the last second. He was flailing now, and he hoped he didn't hurt her because he knew he was strong, but he couldn't fight back any other way right now.

The nurse stopped suddenly as the door banged open and Yuki's eyes snapped open, his uncovered one looking to the door. Kyo was standing there, his breathing hard and his cheeks pink from running. There was such a relieved look in his eyes, like he thought Yuki wouldn't ever wake up, and there was a giant bruise on the bottom of his jaw from where Akito had hit him, not to mention the stitches in his hand.

Yuki was still shaking, only able to lean forward a tiny bit as he reached out both arms for the cat and Kyo tiredly trotted over to the bed. They each slid their hands around the back of the other's neck and leaned forward to press their foreheads together, Yuki concentrating on Kyo's breath on his cheeks. Half of him noticed that Kyo didn't seem to want to look him in the eye, but he quickly pushed it away. Kyo was all right. He didn't even notice when the nurse left and shut the door behind her, too busy listening to Kyo's breathing. He let himself relax and leaned up as Kyo bent down, meeting him half way to press their lips together.

Three Days Later

Yuki was able to pick out the sounds of the door opening from downstairs, and then even though he had his head pressed into the pillow to get rid of the pressure behind his eyes he was able to hear Tohru greet Kazuma. Yuki knew instantly why their master was here.

Kyo hadn't been doing so well. He was just… quiet, and distant, a lot more so then he had been in a long time. In fact, Yuki hadn't seen him avoiding so many people since before Tohru knew about his true cursed form and he had to keep his weakness to bad weather a secret.

Yuki had been home for two days, and so far, nothing had improved. The only thing he could thank being home for was the fact that he was guaranteed someone would warn him before Akito just popped in to see how he was doing. Kyo hadn't even been in to see him. He understood, it was dangerous, especially after what had put him in the hospital, but Yuki was still trying to figure out—with no help from his muddled mind—why Kyo hadn't even come in at night for a few minutes. He'd been sleeping a lot, but he also woke up just about every hour from the pounding headache. There was plenty of time for Kyo to come in and the fact that he hadn't was making Yuki's brain—paranoid from so many drugs and medicines—think the very worst. He hadn't missed the stitches in Kyo's hand or the huge purple and yellow bruise on Kyo's lower cheek.

Yuki pushed back the covers at a sudden wave of heat and tried to heave himself off of the pillow, letting his arms collapse so he dropped back down as soon as the room started to rock violently again.

The bedside table was covered. He couldn't even see the wood beneath glasses of cold waters, dirty and clean washcloths, pain medication, antibacterial medicine for the gash above his eye, anti-inflammatory medicine and eye drops for the irritation from the cut in his eye, and new gauze and bandages for the stitches in his forehead. He was so disoriented and dizzy. He flashed from blazing one second to freezing a split second later. His eyes felt like they were being pushed out of his head from inside his skull because of the cerebral contusion, whatever the hell **that** was. He hadn't been able to retain the explanation. All he knew was that he'd hurt his head, **bad**. And if all of that wasn't enough, the knock to the head had given him nausea, photosensitivity, and a shrill ringing in his ears. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he had to see Kyo because he'd never had a chance at the hospital to make sure Akito hadn't hurt the cat.

Yuki winced at the sharp sliding of wood against wood as the door opened downstairs, so much louder than it had **ever** been before and it grated against his eardrums like sandpaper. He could pick out Kazuma's voice downstairs if he concentrated, but it was too much to try and concentrate right then. And then the voices moved closer as people came up the stairs, and his extremely sensitive ears made it impossible to block them out or even to turn down the volume, and he could feel his headache pounding behind his eyes again. Only two sets of footsteps though, and that meant that he only had to try and shield himself from two voices. It was easier than trying to block out everyone, if nothing else.

"I think I will see Yuki before I leave again," Kazuma said, finally close enough that Yuki had to listen because trying to tune it out was hurting his head more than the outrageous volume was.

"…He's asleep," Kyo said slowly, his voice… pained. Yuki wasn't sure why. With his headache, he couldn't try to find an answer.

"…Kyo? What is it?"

A pause, almost as deafening to Yuki as their speaking. And then Kyo spoke again.

"…It's not my fault."

Yuki's eyes shot open, shocked how much Kyo's voice was shaking.

"It's not my fault!" Kyo shouted, sending Yuki for a loop because of how loud it was.

Yuki groaned under his breath, forcing his arms to support him as he shoved himself off of his chest and commanded his neck to hold up his head just barely enough for him to look out into the hall.

Kyo and Kazuma were standing facing each other, Kyo's head hunched over, his eyes hidden behind one arm and his shoulders shaking silently.

_What did Akito do to him? _Yuki thought with dread, before another thought hit him like a sledgehammer. Akito didn't have to beat the cat to hurt him. _What if… what if Akito didn't have to __**do**__ anything? What if what she said…?_

"Kyo, why don't you come back to the dojo for a while?" Kazuma said after a moment. "Just to have some time to cool down."

Yuki couldn't explain the horror that shot through him when Kyo nodded after a moment. Kazuma just stepped quietly over to Kyo and put a hand on his shoulder, not saying anything.

Almost immediately the dizziness was back at full force from the adrenaline the fear had caused. His arms buckled, letting him drop back down to the bed, his desire to move making his body disconnect his arms so he couldn't go anywhere so as not to hurt himself anymore.

The panic shot through him again as he heard Kazuma leading Kyo away and back down the stairs. He flung his foot off of the bed in one last desperate attempt to follow Kyo and his spine bent from the weight of the contusion behind his eyes. He couldn't even feel when he hit the bed again and his body wouldn't let him move to try again.

He tried to work up the breath to call for Kyo, but at the last second when he was just about to push the air out of his lungs, his throat locked up.

He blinked in confusion, letting the air out and sucking more in to call out Kyo's name when his voice box froze again and the pain flashed behind his eyes. The exact same pain as when Akito had shoved his head into the tree. Just from touching Kyo's hand. That pain had come from just touching Kyo' hand. What would happen if people heard him calling for the cat?

It was completely irrational and he knew it. The fear that more pain would come from calling Kyo's name. But try as he might he couldn't get his voice to say the words. His throat locked up every time he tried to call for Kyo just from the thought of that pain shooting through his skull like electricity again. Just the possibility was enough to keep his mouth from letting out the sounds.

Yuki gripped the bed and squeezed his eyes shut, sucking in a huge breath, determined to yell Kyo's name this time. His head was **reeling** now. He contracted his lungs as hard as he could, but his throat shut itself again, and the force from his breath rocked Yuki's stomach enough for his nausea to hit him like a cannon ball, hard enough to throw up everything he had managed to keep down so far.

Somewhere in his partially conscious state, he was able to make out Tohru rushing in through the blackness before he passed out again.

Later

Kyo's head was against the doorframe as he stood there in the silent house, looking in to the moonlight illuminating Yuki's silver hair. Slowly, he lifted one hand from his pocket to place his arm against the doorframe and rest his head against it. He wanted to go in. He wanted so goddamn bad to hold Yuki again, to touch him and **feel** that the rat was still alive. He wanted to reassure himself; back in the hospital Yuki had been so terrified it was impossible to convince himself that the rat was all right.

But he couldn't make himself go in. Something was holding him back, keeping him from taking the few steps into Yuki's room that would place him by the rat's bed.

He knew what was holding him back. Who was he kidding? Akito did this to Yuki just because Yuki had touched his arm. What would Akito do if somehow she found out… that Kyo had been to see him, at night, out of everyone else's watchful eyes? She would kill Yuki. Just to hurt Kyo more, she would beat the rat's heart until it stopped beating, and then say it was Kyo's fault.

It wasn't his fault.

"_You know you're a monster, people might pretend for your sake, but no one can ever __**truly**__ love you for who you are, even in your human form. If you had just accepted that, Yuki wouldn't be in here right now. You truly are a monster for being so selfish."_

So why did it feel so much like his fault?

Kyo winced as Yuki's head hit the tree again behind his eyes, his mind repeating that image mercilessly. The solid crack of Yuki's head against the tree, and his blank, amethyst eyes glazed over as he just lay there in the snow, blood soaking the ground. The MRI of Yuki's brain hadn't showed any permanent damage, but it didn't do anything to stop himself from seeing Yuki being thrown into the tree over and over again.

Even when he closed his eyes, the echo of Yuki's skull against the wood wouldn't stop. It was torturous.

Kyo's fist clenched and he gritted his teeth, his eyes never leaving Yuki's face. There were two things he felt now, both so overpowering he wanted to kill someone to relieve himself of them. One was the need to feel Yuki's skin against his fingers, to feel the warmth of his life under his hand, and the other was the unmistakable furry that no one had helped Yuki after Akito had literally hurled him headfirst into the tree.

They were all too terrified to even move until after Akito had left. Even Hatori, who could have kept Yuki from losing so much blood, didn't move a single step from the porch.

Kyo clenched his fist again, and then before he could try and talk himself into stepping forward again, he let his hand drop and turned, walking silently back down the dark hallway. Already, he couldn't forgive himself for not going in and at least saying goodnight to Yuki, if not goodbye. He really should have left a note for him or something, to tell him that he was going to stay at Master's for a while.

It would have to be ok, Tohru would tell him.

I know, this story is more angsty than most of my others, but I hope you all like it all the same!

Rate on a scale of 1-10 and review please! You don't have to be a member to review and it only takes a few seconds!

Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own anything but my ideas.

Three Days Later

Yuki's feet pounded against the ground; he felt like he was flying through the trees. He couldn't even feel his asthma he was running so fast.

He'd just been at the Main House to check in with Akito now that he was off bed rest, and honestly, the head of the family looked a little… pissed. Almost like she had wished Yuki would start venting about Kyo to her this time, blaming him for what had happened. It had also helped that she could barely stand she was so sick. She hadn't even said anything, just nodded when Yuki told her that he was off bed rest and then dismissed him.

Yuki flew up the steps and banged on the door, leaning forward to put his hands on his knees and catch his breath again. The headache was coming back, but it was gone again almost instantly when he heard someone on the other side of the door. He didn't know if he looked relieved when Kazuma opened the door, all he knew was that the look in his master's eyes showed that Kazuma had **not** been expecting him there, and he had in **now way** expected him to run all the way there.

"Yuki? Are you all right to be coming here by yourself, especially after just getting off bed rest?"

"Is Kyo in the dojo?" Yuki asked immediately, ignoring how out of breath he sounded.

"I, uh, no," Kazuma said slowly, "he's upstairs…"

Yuki didn't need to say anything else. His master seemed to know that Yuki wasn't about to talk with him, and for whatever reason, he stepped to the side and let Yuki bolt past him. Yuki flew up the stairs two at a time, rounded the corner and flung Kyo's door open, not even bothering to knock or make sure that Kyo was staying in the same room that he had as a child.

Kyo was sitting there on the floor with his legs crossed, almost like he had just been there sitting and staring at the wall, and when Yuki barged in his eyes snapped up, his blank face almost turning pained when he saw Kyo.

Yuki stood in the door for a moment, his heart pounding and his breath raging in his ears, before he could no longer fight his emotions and he let his feet carry him over to Kyo. For the first time in almost as long as he could remember, he let himself do **exactly** what he wanted. He dropped to a crouch in front of Kyo and flung his arms around the flame-haired boy's neck. Kyo, in response—either so he wouldn't get thrown back or because he wanted to hold Yuki as well—wrapped his arms around Yuki's back in a light hug and Yuki only held him tighter in response, burying his face in his cousin's neck and breathing in Kyo's scent and just **feeling** that he was all right before he took a deep breath to breach the next subject.

"What did Akito say to you?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

Instantly Kyo's spine went rigid under Kyo's arms. "Nothing!" came his automatic, harsh response.

"…Was it my fault? I mean… did she say it because of me?"

Yuki bit his lip when Kyo didn't answer, even though he already knew what the response would be if Kyo had answered him truthfully.

Yuki leaned back, warily tipping his head, inviting Kyo but scared to do anything else lest he pushed the fickle cat away more. Kyo had already been hurt so much; he couldn't hurt him anymore.

But Kyo wasn't so hesitant, and instantly leaned in to meet Yuki's lips, like he'd been starved of it for too long. They both had.

Yuki cautiously slipped his tongue into Kyo's mouth, feeling Kyo's own tongue running over his and dancing with it between their lips. He slipped his hands into Kyo's fiery hair and he couldn't help a relieved sigh as he felt Kyo's hands slip under his coat and hold him as close as possible.

And then his eyes popped. He was unable to hide his shock as Kyo—not breaking the heated kiss or the contact between their bodies—first shifted onto his knees, and then eagerly climbed into Yuki's lap, wrapping his knees tightly around Yuki's waist and pressing their chests as close together as he could, his arms still tight around Yuki's back. But there was nothing in him that wanted to stop the touch or the kiss, even at the unknown closeness.

Intoxicating. That's what Kyo was.

Yuki's eye drifted open again and to the door as his sixth sense prickled, and immediately jolted back, choking on Kyo's tongue as he gaped, wide-eyed, his mouth open.

Kyo's hands unconsciously gripped Yuki's shoulders protectively, remembering that exact same look in the rat's terrified eyes when he realized that Akito had seen him touch Kyo's arm. Kyo gritted his teeth, a snarl deep in his throat as he turned. This time, Akito would have to go through him.

But when his eyes locked on Kazuma, standing in the doorway, his expression blanked and his breathing went dead.

For what seemed like years, nothing moved. Even the air seemed thick, too thick to breathe in again, and then Kazuma's lips tipped up into a slight smile, and he nodded once before disappearing from the doorway, his footsteps echoing back down the stairs.

Yuki was the first to move, his eyes flicking nervously to Kyo's face. From the look in his eyes, they were thinking the exact same thing.

Had Master really… just accepted them? Their… whatever this was between them?

Another glance to the door and back to Kyo's face and Yuki wasn't sure how he wasn't smiling. Kyo was still stunned motionless, and that meant that he hadn't imagined it.

Later

Kyo stepped nervously into the kitchen, scratching the back of his head in anticipation. He knew Kazuma would be in there; he didn't even have to check the dojo. When it was something seriously important, like when Kyo had almost gotten expelled for fighting once during school, they never spoke in the dojo. Conversations like this were too important to have over sparring.

Kazuma was sitting on the other side of the table, completely relaxed as he sipped at his tea. Kyo edged nervously toward the table and back a few times before eventually settling himself against the wall near the door.

"Kyo."

"Yeah?" he answered uneasily, not looking up to meet his master's eyes.

"How long have… you two been together?"

Kyo winced, searching for the right words to answer this. "…I'm not even sure we are together," he said finally.

Kazuma nodded after a moment before moving on to his next question. "Does Shigure know about this? And Tohru for that matter?"

"Like hell we'd tell that damn dog, he'd never be able to keep his trap shut around that stupid snake," Kyo snapped easily, and then his demeanor dropped a little. "But I don't know about how… Tohru feels about this kind of thing. I don't really want to tell her yet."

Kazuma nodded again, understanding Kyo's hesitance to lose a friend and someone as close as Tohru. He had been worried earlier when Yuki went to find Kyo in panic and not furry, but it had been pure chance that he'd seen them together.

_Good thing, too. _Or Kyo might never have told him. There was an unspoken rule about secrets in this family. An unspoken oath to never utter them ever, to anyone, even if that meant including the people in the family. It was too dangerous.

"You, of course, realize that Akito won't like it. It could even be fatally dangerous, Kyo." He didn't have to remind Kyo about the most recent incident.

"I know."

"For **both** of you."

Kyo's eyes never left the floor, but Kazuma sighed and moved on, worried that Kyo would bite through his lip if he continued that subject. "But obviously you both know that," he reconciled. He didn't think they were stupid. Of course they knew the risks.

"You and Yuki can be open at my house," he said finally, causing Kyo to look up at him like he was delusional. Kazuma almost chuckled, Kyo looked so cute when he was shocked like that. "Don't risk anything where someone who could tell Akito could see you. I can easily say that Akito is already suspicious because of what happened at the Main House. Yes, I heard from Shigure," he told Kyo before the cat could ask, earning another uneasy blush.

"Thank you, Master," Kyo said finally, turning and leaving.

Kazuma sat staring at the door for another moment before he sighed and took another sip of his tea.

_What will happen when Akito finds out?_

She always did. Sooner or later.

Kazuma stood at the door later, staring up at the sky as Yuki slipped on his coat behind him, Kyo waiting out in the yard kicking a few stones into the woods.

"Yuki," he called quietly as the silver-haired boy tried to pass him.

"…Yes?" Yuki asked warily, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the buttons on his coat.

"I'll assume I don't have to warn you not to let **anyone **see you. I don't think even Tohru would be safe to tell at this time."

Yuki flinched at his stern tone of voice and baring gaze before he nodded and walked out after Kyo. Kazuma sighed and looked back to the sky as the two teenagers walked away. he couldn't get the memory of his grandfather out of his mind.

He would **not** see Kyo's face, dead and broken, behind those bars.

XXX

_Yuki pushed his lips gently against Kyo's his eyelids fluttering as Kyo stepped closer to him, the cat's hand tentatively touching his arm. So simple. So powerful. _

"_Shh," Yuki reminded the cat as Kyo leaned forward, being a little more forceful than Yuki felt safe with here._

_Both jolted at the sound of approaching footsteps and looked to the door, but it was when Kyo put his hand on Yuki's chest and pushed him back four steps that his heart really yanked painfully. Even though he knew it was what they had to do, he still couldn't believe how much it hurt. And soon the day would be over and they would part again._

_Tohru walked happily into the room, smiling brightly at Yuki as she walked over to Kyo and took his hand. He smiled lightly and leaned down to kiss her tenderly before she informed them that dinner was ready._

_It was then that the bands on their ring fingers started gleaming in the light of the sunset, and Yuki couldn't keep himself from looking away. Those were painful to look at too._

Yuki's eyes shot open and he lay there for a moment, breathing and staring up at the black ceiling. A quick glance at the window told him it was before four because the sun wasn't out.

He sat up slowly and rubbed his hands over his face, smacking his cheeks to try and clear the dream.

He couldn't hide it their wholes lives.

…If they were going to do that… see each other every month or so at the Main House, and New Year's… it might just be better to just leave and move on.

Yuki swallowed, forcing him to say that over again so he knew he wasn't dreaming. "…It would be better… to just move on. Save us both from the pain of hiding it in the long run." Akito was fine with Ritsu's cross-dressing now anyways; it might even be possible that she would be… all right with him being gay, as long as it wasn't with the cat of the zodiac. And if he were gay, then he wouldn't have to tell his partner about his curse because there would be almost no chance of hugging a girl and there would be no chance of children.

"It would be better…" he repeated hopelessly, letting his hands drop from his face into his lap. It **would** be better. He knew that. It was too obvious not to see.

But still, the thought of Kyo and him each with someone else just made his chest wrench painfully again.

He hated dreaming.

One Week Later

Back at home, Kyo's fingers wove into Yuki's every time they were alone, even if it was just walking down the hall. He'd follow Yuki to his secret base and just sit against one of the large trees around the garden, telling Tohru he was making sure Yuki wouldn't collapse because of the brisk air and his asthma. Yuki didn't mind. And he couldn't exactly say he hated his late-night visits from the cat.

And then there was only one month to graduation, and Kyo began slowly pulling away.

One month to graduation was also known as school hell. Especially if one was in student council.

Yuki's life was flooded. So much so in fact, he was kind of surprised work wasn't coming out of his ears yet. Student council was demanding for preparations for graduation, his teachers were demanding his work and not allowing any extensions, Haru had become more demanding at school because Yuki would be leaving soon, even Tohru didn't have time to make dinner sometimes because of preparations for her exams and the family was left for themselves.

Usually Kyo cooked when Tohru couldn't. He was easily the most capable. But now… Yuki couldn't stop seeing how recluse Kyo was becoming. At the beginning of the month, he would cook and only eat some of his food, and even when Tohru did cook he only picked at the food; but now when he cooked, half of the food turned out so burned it had to be thrown away, and the dishes were extremely plain, like rice and some sort of fish that could just be left on the stove to grill.

Yuki wouldn't have had to be blind to not see it. When Kyo did manage to make an edible meal toward the end of the month, he would leave it on the table and disappear up into his room or onto the roof while the rest of the family ate. The part that scared Yuki the most about all of this wasn't even how Kyo pulled away from him, but Shigure's absolute lack of comments. When Shigure wasn't teasing Kyo about burning the dinner, it meant something was wrong.

Kyo wouldn't look at him in school. He wouldn't sit with anyone during lunch and could usually be found on the roof with the neighborhood stray cats, who all purred quietly and yowled around him. It was as if they were comforting him, but he ignored them too. He ignored teachers even when they were threatening him. He even didn't seem to care about Uo's comments on the color of his hair. He pulled away with excuses of exams and studying when Yuki tried to touch him or make sure he was all right. Kagura had come to visit, and as usual the visit had ended in a violent screaming war. The difference this time was that Kyo had won, leaving Kagura in tears on the ground and Kyo looking about as remorseless as a mass murderer. At least he hadn't hit her. Tohru had to comfort her while Kyo disappeared to the roof again, and even with Tohru's coaxing later he wouldn't come down off the roof. Kyo had even blown up at Tohru one night, and thank **god** he had apologized to her. Yuki didn't think innocent Tohru would be able to recover now, after all this time, if Kyo exploded at her and didn't apologize, because then she would take it like it really was her fault.

And Shigure not saying anything… Yuki knew that dog knew something. He'd asked multiple times—he tried being subtle and just asking straight out—but his older cousin wouldn't say anything. Yuki had never been so infuriated by Shigure's skill to change the subject from anything at any point in a conversation.

The only thing Shigure had said to him was after Kyo had practically bitten the dog's head off when he asked how school was that day. Yuki had hazarded to ask again what was going on and why he wasn't worried that Kyo was so mad all of the time.

"_What if he runs away again? With how mad he is all of the time now… he might not even tell Master if he leaves this time."_

"_I promise you, Yuki, he won't leave again."_

_Why? Why wouldn't he leave? He's done it before! Yuki wanted to scream it at the dog. He anted to shake him until his eyes rattled out of his sockets. He wanted answers. Kyo wouldn't talk to him and… he was scared. The last time Kyo hadn't talked to him, he'd left. If he left this time, he might go much, __**much**__ farther than Master's._

_Shigure sighed, running his hand through his hair at Yuki's distressed expression, as the rat was unable to hide his anxiety behind a mask any longer._

"_Yuki, I'm not trying to turn you away because, you know, you're the rat and he's the cat. This matter just doesn't concern you."_

He'd said nothing more.

Five Days to Graduation

Yuki sat quietly at the table, nervously twisting his fingers as he listened for every sound in the house. Tohru was getting in one last night of work before the real craze of graduation started in two days. Shigure was doing last minute shopping for graduation presents (that Yuki was terrified to receive). Today. Today Kyo was going to tell him what was going on. There was no way he'd be able to concentrate on graduation otherwise he did.

Yuki jolted at the sound of someone at the top of the stairs, unable to explain the sudden pounding of his heart. He'd been fine, almost looking forward to getting this out of the way, but now… he had a really bad feeling about the conversation that was about to take place.

Yuki pushed himself slowly to his feet, turning to face the door as Kyo came down the stairs; Yuki felt something inside him break when Kyo kept his eyes on the floor and walked right past Yuki to the refrigerator.

Yuki reached out as the cat passed and tried to take the cat's hand, but without even looking up at Yuki, Kyo moved his hand so his fingers slipped right through Yuki's.

Yuki's other hand clenched and he reached out and grabbed Kyo's wrist, yanking the redhead forcefully enough that Kyo had to spin around and look him in the eye or get his arm taken off. But even though Kyo turned, his eyes stayed firmly on the floor. And all of a sudden, Yuki was furious. His heart was still pounding with fear for what this conversation would hold, but he was livid that Kyo flat out **refused** to look him in the eye anymore.

"What is going on?" he demanded, shaking Kyo's arm harshly and making the cat's eyes pop with surprise at his outburst. "What is wrong with you? It isn't graduation, because even Tohru isn't freaking out this much, so what is it? What is **so** bad that you can't tell me? Did I do something? Was it after we came back from Master's?"

"It's not you," Kyo defended himself quietly, barely any force in his voice.

"Then what? You won't even look at me anymore!"

"It won't matter in a week," Kyo snarled and trying to yank his hand out of Yuki's grip as he stepped towards the door.

No. Yuki had had enough of people evading him. He swallowed unconsciously and stepped into Kyo's path while tightening his grip on the cat's wrist, keeping the cat from going anywhere except backwards into the kitchen again.

Yuki flinched back from how fast Kyo's eyes went from shocked to burning with rage and the cat's muscles rippled as he clenched his fists. This was it. It had taken Yuki to make the cat snap, just like old times, and now Yuki had to brace himself for what was coming.

He wouldn't have been prepared for what he heard if he spent years making himself as emotionally dead inside as he could.

"You want to know? **Fine**." Kyo snapped, taking a step to Yuki and into a fighting stance, like he always did when he was mad. The reason it made Yuki back up was how livid the cat looked.

"I… I made a bet with Akito! A stupid, fucked up bet, because I was so pissed, I didn't even care that deep down I knew I couldn't beat you! If I won, I would be part of the zodiac, but if she won…" he ground his teeth before spitting out, "I'd let her lock me in the cat's room. The bet was until graduation. I had until the end of school to beat you, and I couldn't even get close to it!"

By now, Yuki was steadily backing away as Kyo stood there and screamed at him, utterly shell-shocked by what Kyo was saying. _There's no way… he can't really mean…_

But he knew Kyo meant it. Behind all the anger and fire in Kyo's eyes, there was real despair. He meant every word that rolled off of his tongue.

"I couldn't beat you, just like the pathetic, useless, little cat I am!" Kyo continued, his voice weaker now. "And now my life is ending in a week! **That's** what's wrong! I can't look at you because it makes me wish that I'd done something—**anything** to beat you before we were like this—used drugs or something, because now I don't even **want** to fight you. I can't look at you because I know that if I don't want to fight you, I'll die. I can't look at you because you look at me with so much pain… and it's going to be so much more pain when we can't ever see each other again! I don't want to go in there haunted by the look in your eyes… **like I tore out your heart**! I can't look you in the eye because I won't be able to survive her torturing if I know, every day, that I'm the one who hurt you by leaving!"

"…I-I could… you and I, there's still five days to graduation, we could fight again and…!" Yuki spluttered desperately. His mind was whirring, frantic to find an answer—a solution to all of this—but his mouth wouldn't say any of the words, because somehow he knew it was just as hopeless as Kyo knew it was.

Kyo snorted, not an ounce of humor in his dark laugh. "Everyone knows I can't do it, you hold back every time and I still can't do it. But… I couldn't hit you now even if you let me."

Yuki was still too stunned to move as Kyo pulled his arm out of Yuki's grip and walked silently away. The rat couldn't feel himself breathing until the sound of the door shutting jolted him out of his stupor, and then all of a sudden his knees gave out beneath him and he slid to the floor.

He had wanted to know. It was his own fault.

His heart was still hammering in his chest; the feeling that something terrible was coming, **still** not gone yet. Even after all of that.

Please review! It makes me want to write more chapters! Thanks, everyone!


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own anything but my ideas.

XXX

Every bump in the road was an echo around the car, reverberating in Yuki's head again and again as the car's weight shattered the rocks and stones on the road.

Yuki felt like one of those stones. Helpless. Broken. Left to splinter and shatter and lay in jagged parts on the cold ground. And after he was broken, people would notice him even less than when he was whole.

Sitting next to him, was the reason of his broken mind, for his warped thinking. He couldn't remember a time he'd felt so useless. He couldn't get his mind to come up with anything better than: Get there before her, get Kyo, and run.

So many holes. So many cracks. No foundation. No help. No one.

So many ways for this to fail.

He had no plan. His mind refused to come up with one. It had shut down, ever since that day seven days ago. One hundred and sixty eight impossibly long hours, and his mind had not found the spark to jumpstart itself again.

Only seven days ago, Kyo had said the one thing that he thought he would never recover from:

"_I… I made a bet with Akito! A stupid, fucked up bet, because I was so pissed, I didn't even care that deep down I knew I couldn't beat you! If I won, I would be part of the zodiac, but if she won…" he ground his teeth before spitting out, "I'd let her lock me in the cat's room. The bet was until graduation. I had until the end of school to beat you, and I couldn't even get close to it! I couldn't beat you, just like the pathetic, useless, little cat I am! And now my life is ending in a week! __**That's**__ what's wrong! I can't look at you because it makes me wish that I'd done something—__**anything**__ to beat you before we were like this—used drugs or something, because now I don't even __**want**__ to fight you. I can't look at you because I know that if I don't want to fight you, I'll die. I can't look at you because you look at me with so much pain… and it's going to be so much more pain when we can't ever see each other again! I don't want to go in there haunted by the look in your eyes… __**like I tore out your heart**__! I can't look you in the eye because I won't be able to survive her torturing if I know, every day, that I'm the one who hurt you by leaving!"_

"…_I-I could… you and I, there's still five days to graduation, we could fight again and…!" _

"_Everyone knows I can't do it, you hold back every time and I still can't do it. But… I couldn't hit you now even if you let me."_

Yuki knew Kyo was right. He was stronger than the cat, and would always be so. Predetermined before their births, and for the billionth time he cursed the rat inside of his body.

Graduation was gone. Two days ago. Yuki could barely remember it going. Where had all that time gone? Time that he was wishing would fly by, but seemed to crawl away from him, like it was desperate to make him suffer more. And now that he needed that time, it was gone before he could blink.

Yuki wasn't even sure if Kyo had been at graduation; he had to assume that Master had made him go, to soak up his last moments of true freedom and normality. After the cat's confession, he'd gone back to Master's house and Yuki had been far too dazed and stunned to even think about going to retrieve him, if not see him one last time before the cat was gone forever.

He couldn't find the strength to keep his head up. How could he even **act** strong for Kyo? If the cat didn't want to end his life seeing the pain in Yuki's eyes, than Yuki would not force it on him. Maybe if he had been stronger… well, it was too late anyways.

How sick was that? That the god sitting next to him in the car as it bumped down the road to Master's house had kept him so frail and weak throughout his entire life that he couldn't even **act** strong for Kyo?

And even now, as they drew closer to the end of Kyo's life every second, Akito continued to smile to herself. And even if they were not smiling with her, Hatori and Shigure, who sat in the front of the car, were just too composed for Yuki's calm. The painful churning in his stomach would not settle, and more than anything he was terrified that he would throw up when he saw Kyo and break the cat that much more. He'd been trying to steel himself, to make himself as emotionless as possible, but Tohru Honda was not in the car—kept at home for her own sake, as Shigure had said—and he couldn't even remember how long she'd been the reason for his strength inside. He'd never been able to face Kyo alone before she came along. And now, when he needed to be strong the most, she'd been forbidden to come.

Maybe it was just as well. She'd been sobbing so hard Yuki thought she was going to make herself pass out when they'd told her why they were going to pick Kyo up. If the pain in Yuki's eyes would have broken Kyo, Yuki wasn't sure how much Tohru's tears would have hurt him. None of them liked to see Tohru cry.

If he were to run away… well, that would be the simple part. They had both graduated high school; they could get by easily enough in a cheap apartment and could maybe even get through college on borrowed money. It was the running after that was the hard part, and then the hiding after that.

What was he supposed to do? Ask Akito to wait because he wanted to say his last goodbyes to an old enemy and then jump out the window with Kyo holding one of his hands and a suitcase in the other?

Impossibly easier said than done, not to mention ridiculously romanticized.

"Yuki," the calm, cold voice drawled from his left, "are you feeling all right? You look a little pale."

"Yes, thank you. It's just my asthma," he nodded.

That was partially true. He'd worked himself up so much into a partial-panic by now that he **was** having trouble breathing. There was no way he'd be able to run with Kyo if he couldn't even catch his breath sitting down.

And the entire hopelessness of the situation only did more to bog down on his bronchial tubes and cut off more oxygen to his lungs, but he had to find a way.

He would not let Kyo disappear from this life.

He would not let the cat go.

The car rolled to a stop in front of the house Yuki knew all too well, and yet he still found himself memorizing every single window, door, weak siding and other possible exit on the house as he followed Akito up the steps and to the front door.

Hatori stepped around Akito when she nodded to him and knocked on the wood, each sound a solid and painful thud in Yuki's chest. They were pounding in his ears and making his breathing worse, each knock counting down another second to the end of Kyo's life.

The door glided open soundlessly, and Kazuma was standing there in the darkness of the main hallway. Kazuma's face looked so blank and lifeless against the black of the rest of the house, and he slowly stepped aside to let them in without making eye contact with anyone, not even Akito.

Yuki let his feet follow Akito into the dining room as he continued to map out each hallway and escape route in the house. Hatori and Shigure were both strong and fast; they would have to be faster.

Yuki's head snapped up as he heard Kazuma call Kyo from the bottom of the stairs, and then their master joined them around the silent table. Oddly, his presence did nothing to comfort Yuki, though he expected so because he'd known Kazuma for so long.

The silence stretched on, but no one dared look up, especially as Akito's fist tightened more and more in her lap. Her agitation was smothering in the ghostly house, but still the cat didn't come.

Finally, Kazuma turned, letting his confusion into his expression, and he excused himself to go call Kyo again.

Yuki swallowed, praying that it was inaudible as Akito's anger seemed to swell more and more next to him. Soon, he was afraid that she would lash out at him if Kyo didn't come down when she suddenly said, her voice dangerously calm, "Yuki, why don't you go and fetch our stray."

It was incredible how hard it was to keep from bolting up the stairs, but he knew it would only make things worse if he did, so—whether through his self-preservation units or through how numb his mind felt—he drifted out of the room silently enough to blend in with the rest of the house and down the black hallways.

He tried not to look at Kazuma as he passed him by the stairs, but as he turned his eyes caught the dead gaze of his master and made him start momentarily before continuing, if not slightly faster now.

_That look. _He couldn't place the emotions in Kazuma's eyes. All he knew was that it made him that much more nervous.

Yuki pushed Kyo's door open with his fingertips, trying to be as quiet as possible so Akito wouldn't be able to track his movements downstairs. He blinked, poking his head into the empty room before ducking back out.

…_Kyo?_ Yuki looked around for a moment, his eyes swiveling through the dark hallway before finally landing on the bathroom door. He stepped across the hall and pushed that open, but again, it was empty.

Yuki blinked and slowly stepped back out into the hallway before he suddenly ground to a halt, his head cocked to the side.

_No._ Yuki turned slowly, his eyes wide. _**Please**__ tell me I didn't see… _

But there it was. The proof was right there in front of him. Kyo's toothbrush. Kyo's towel. Kyo's toothpaste.

All gone.

And then it started to dawn on Yuki, and it only took a moment before he found himself in front of Kyo's room and he slammed the door back open, cracking it hard against the wall.

"Yuki?" someone called from downstairs, but the rat couldn't hear them as he practically flew across the room and yanked Kyo's drawers open. His boxers, his cargo pants, his too-tight black shirts, his sweatshirt… most of his clothes were gone. Yuki threw open the closet door, taking that off its hinges with another loud crash, and someone called him again from downstairs, but he didn't care.

His coat, his gloves, his shoes…

Gone.

"Kyo?" Yuki called, clear desperation in his voice as he tore out of Kyo's room and slammed open Kazuma's room next.

Empty.

_No… he didn't… he couldn't… _

He didn't know how he ended up back at the bottom of the stairs, gripping the railing like it was keeping him from passing out, but Akito was talking to him, and he had to answer her. He had to listen, he couldn't black out.

"Did the monster run, Yuki?"

Yuki couldn't even blink, but somehow, his head managed a nod on its own.

He was dizzy, the stairs were curling beneath him and Akito was throwing an absolute fit outside by the car.

Someone was calling him, shaking him, but it wasn't until the sound of a breaking windshield smashing outside did his head snap up to the voice.

Kazuma was staring at him, and all of a sudden Yuki could place the emotions in his eyes. He knew them all too well. Growing up in the Sohma family, these were the only emotions he thought he might ever see.

Sorrow.

Guilt.

Apology.

He didn't want to see those emotions.

He didn't want to see these cold, brown eyes.

He wanted Kyo's red eyes, filled with burning emotion, not this cold dead look.

He wanted Kyo's liveliness.

He wanted Kyo.

His hands lunged out and fisted themselves in Kazuma's front, and the older man just stood there. Yuki wanted to hit him, he wanted to make him hurt for doing this to him, but he knew if he lashed out, his master would just take it.

"Where is he?" Yuki snarled, pulling Kazuma in closer so there was no danger of Akito hearing.

Kazuma sighed after a moment, his eyes still blank. "…You wouldn't be able to sit by and watch while your son was sent to his death either. Believe me, I tried."

Yuki's hands dropped from Kazuma's shirt, and he felt his feet stumbling backwards before his back his the wall hard.

_No._

He was gone. _No. No, he can't be gone._

…He was alone. Again.

Like in the alley, he was alone. Only this time, Kyo wasn't coming for him.

Gone.

And then he was flying, tearing outside and past Akito, and Shigure was yelling his name, but he didn't care. Roots and branches bit at his ankles and uneven rocks in the road tried to knock him down as he flew back down the road, but he didn't stop. His palms were burning, dripping blood from where he had tripped and slashed them open on the jagged ground, but he didn't stop. His lungs were on fire, and big enough to burst in his chest, but he didn't stop. He didn't think he could stop if he wanted to.

Kyo was gone.

Why?

_Why didn't you come get me?_

Yuki found himself whirling frantically in a circle when he reached the city, every light and sound disorienting and adding to his confusion and dizziness. He felt like his head was filled with sand, and the ground was uneven beneath him. He couldn't breathe…

There were busses and planes, but planes were too expensive and easy to track and busses didn't go fast enough or far enough…

Yuki choked out a thankful gasp and sprinted for the stairs to the subway, nearly falling down them as he eased past people, trying not to knock them down as he ran. It was darker down here, and the air was more smothering. He couldn't breathe…

He slammed to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes scanning the people frantically. Should he get back on the stairs, try to see over people? No, that would take too much time. He didn't have any time. No time. Kyo was gone.

Kyo had to be here, somewhere. Yuki's breathing was like knives in his throat, but he was desperate to see his backpack, or his old coat, or his tense walk…

And then he was there. His hair, that blazing color of fire, was like the sun through the crowd. Instantly he could breathe again, and the subway seemed to get a little bit brighter.

"Kyo!" he screamed, shoving people out of the way, desperate to get to the cat before he stepped onto the subway. "Kyo!"

He wouldn't let the cat go.

"**KYO**!"

The cat paused, and slowly turned around just as Yuki smashed into him, knocking the bag off Kyo's shoulders as he threw his arms around his neck, almost send the cat sprawling to the ground with the force that he ran into him with. The cat's arms wrapped around him to keep them both from falling over, and Yuki sighed at how warm he felt. The cat was his sun. His light in this dark world. His cat. His. There was no way he was going to let him go. Yuki wove his fingers into Kyo's hair, holding the back of his head as he slammed their lips together.

He didn't care what people thought, and he knew he looked like a girl if he did, but right now he didn't even care if Akito saw them. All that mattered was keeping Kyo right here with him. His. No one else's.

Their lips pulled apart, but Yuki pulled the cat in close again and pressed their foreheads together, breathing easier with the feeling of Kyo's warm breath on his cheeks. He was here. He was fine.

"You can't… **ever **do that again," Yuki choked out around his labored breathing. Kyo opened his mouth to protest, but Yuki pressed a hand over his lips before he could say anything.

"But if you have to, you have to take me with you."

Yuki tried to glare into the cat's red eyes, but it was so hard when Kyo was smiling back at him like that, his tense shoulders relaxed. The cat was relaxed. Yuki couldn't remember the last time the cat wasn't tense. Even when he wasn't mad, he was still prepared for a verbal or physical attack at any time. That was how he had grown up, and it made Yuki's heart ache.

No love.

So much so, that he didn't even feel he could tell Yuki when he had to leave to save himself. He thought he could still have to do it alone.

No more. They weren't alone any more.

Kyo pulled Yuki's hand off of his mouth, squeezing it tightly as he held Yuki against his chest with his other hand, and kissed him again. Some people stared, others pretended not to see, but for the most part people just left them alone, which is all that they wanted.

Later

Yuki closed the door to the hotel room behind them, dropping his coat on the floor the second it was locked. He couldn't deal with trying to be neat after everything else that had happened in the past few weeks.

As Kyo had said: _"The hell with dealing with Akito right now. I've already disobeyed her so, I might as well get as much out of it as I can, and I need one night of freedom."_

Yuki sat back on the bed, looking around the room as the cat splashed his face with cold water in the kitchenette. The room was small, but they could have even lived in it for a few weeks if they wanted too. Yuki's eyes dropped back down to his knees and his fists clenched. They couldn't run forever. Who was he kidding? Sooner or later Akito would find them, no matter how far they ran. She always did. It would be easier to go sooner and of their own accord.

Yuki kicked off his shoes and laid back on the bed, spreading his arms out as Kyo stepped out of the kitchenette, drying his face with a towel that had the name of the hotel embroidered on it. Yuki couldn't take his eyes off of the name, even as Kyo cocked his head in question. What if someone had seen them come in here? They should have picked a hotel more of the beaten path.

Kyo tossed the towel back onto the counter and leaned against the doorframe, sighing deeply. "What?" he asked finally.

"…Nothing," Yuki said, looking back up to the ceiling. It **was** nothing. It was too late now to do something about the location of their room. It would be fine; there was no way Akito would be able to find them in just one day.

Kyo didn't look convinced, but he slid his coat off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor next to Yuki's before climbing onto the bed. He crawled over to Yuki's side and hesitated there for a moment before reaching out tentatively and stroking one finger along Yuki's cheek. Yuki closed his eyes, reveling in the warmth of Kyo's finger, even if it was just one.

Just as Yuki was about to reach up, Kyo suddenly turned his head to the side and flopped down on the bed, burying his face in Yuki's chest, as if the embarrassment had kicked in. Yuki smothered a smirk and draped his arms over Kyo's back. His brow furrowed as Kyo tensed up, but then the cat slid his arms around Yuki's torso and relaxed, letting Yuki calm down as well.

"I wonder if we can get food up here," Kyo said casually, his words not as muffled now that he had turned his head to the other side to look up at Yuki.

"…Why? Are you hungry?"

"No… well yeah, I haven't eaten today—I thought I would just throw it back up—but I thought we should get some rice balls to help you relax."

…_Rice balls?_

"…Help me relax?"

"Yeah, you always eat them when you come back from the main house. They seem to help."

…_Do they? _Yuki wasn't even sure if what Kyo was saying was true, but he could easily recall several occasions when he'd turned down dinner after coming back from a visit with Akito, but he **had** been able to eat rice balls…

It sort of made sense. He and Kyo had been enemies for the longest time, and you **always **watch your enemies closer than your friends.

"Kind of like you with salmon?"

"…Really?"

Yuki felt himself smirk. Seemed that they **did** know a lot more about each other than they thought.

"Salmon, and then cod after that," Yuki continued. "You always relax when you're eating those, like you do when you're actually happy and not just putting up a front. It's your shoulders mostly, like you're letting yourself breathe and you don't think you're going to be attacked."

The confusion Yuki had easily been able to identify on Kyo's face drifted into a half-smile before the cat closed his eyes, his arms tightening around Yuki's waist.

"You too," Kyo said quietly. "You relax too when you're actually happy. Your head kind of tilts to the side, like you're too relaxed so your muscles can't hold your head up or something," he chuckled quietly. "And then you're so tense when you're nervous. You bite the inside of your lower lip, because I think you're scared Akito would get angrier if you clenched your fist, but you need some sort of release. And I haven't ever seen you raise your voice, except when you're angry…or scared."

Yuki rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's any better than you, you always clench your fists when you're nervous, and you're always in a fighting stance when you're angry, like you don't care who you fight, you just have to fight **someone** for a release. At least I'm not always trying to be violent. Even when you actually smile at me, you cock one eyebrow… like you're being sarcastic… or you aren't really sure if you're happy."

Kyo blinked. "I do?"

Yuki nodded and Kyo nuzzled in closer to his chest. "I… didn't even… do you know that you half close your eyes when you actually smile?"

Yuki's silence was enough of an answer for Kyo. "Like your head tilting to the side, you just… relax… I like seeing you relaxed."

Yuki's eyes popped open. …Had Kyo ever really said anything like this before?

"It just…" the cat paused. "It's like the only time you have Akito completely out of your mind… I wish that was more often."

Yuki felt the corners of his lips pulling up, but this time, he didn't try to stop it. "Did you know that you're actually more like a cat than you think? You can be clumsy sometimes—"

"Hey—"

"But you're always so balanced, and even your walk has… grace." _I guess that's the right word. He'd get mad at me if I said he was beautiful._

"…I noticed it a long time ago, but I thought—just in case you haven't figured it out—that I should tell you, just so Akito can't use it anymore against you. You're really like a rat in this way too. You don't like to be confronted. Even when it was fighting me, you didn't want to if you didn't have to, and you'd rather hide from Akito even though you're so strong against everyone else. Ok, that's a bad example, we all do, but—"

"I get it," Yuki said quietly, moving one hand up to grip the back of Kyo's shoulder. It felt so good, Kyo's breathing under his arm. Those stupid cliché moments, like the ones where characters in movies would wish that that moment would never end, he was having one of those right now.

"Just… Akito really uses that, so I thought it if you knew… you know…"

Yuki nodded, the small smile still prominent on his face.

"Did you know you're also really sensitive? You're so aware of everything around you and touching you… I think that's why you can dodge every damn punch I throw, but you loved to be touched too…"

Yuki looked down in shock to meet Kyo's smirk, and all of a sudden, the cat—as if to prove his point—dipped his head down, the tip of his nose brushing over Yuki's nipple. Immediately, Yuki's head threw itself back and his breath locked in his throat. Kyo continued to nuzzle Yuki through his shirt, and just like the first time Kyo had done this, all power was knocked from Yuki's body. He felt limp and lightheaded, and entirely in a good way. He didn't care if he passed out from lack of oxygen, he just wanted Kyo to keep going, and never stop.

Kyo crawled up as he worked over Yuki's chest through his shirt, and his tongue hit skin the second he was high enough to get over the collar of Yuki's shirt and he didn't stop from there. Yuki's skin was buzzing beyond reason, like electricity being shot through his body every time Kyo licked or nibbled over his skin. He let out a low groan, closing his eyes and letting the electricity jump erratically under his skin.

His eyes drifted open again as he suddenly realized that he had never done anything like this back to Kyo, and he wanted to. He **really** wanted to. He wanted to make the cat squirm like Kyo could make him. He cupped Kyo's face and pulled him up into a kiss, and then before he could over think anything and back out, he slid one leg in between Kyo's and rolled the cat over onto his back.

Sorry for the cut-off ending, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter!

Whoa! Sorry for the crazy long wait!

Hope it was worth it! Please review!

Thanks all!


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own anything but my ideas.

WARNING! POMEGRANATE! Er, heh heh… LEMON!

(Read I'll Fight For You to understand that)

XXX

"Did you know you're also really sensitive? You're so aware of everything around you and touching you… I think that's why you can dodge every damn punch I throw, but you loved to be touched too…"

Yuki looked down in shock to meet Kyo's smirk, and all of a sudden, the cat—as if to prove his point—dipped his head down, the tip of his nose brushing over Yuki's nipple. Immediately, Yuki's head threw itself back and his breath locked in his throat. Kyo continued to nuzzle Yuki through his shirt, and just like the first time Kyo had done this, all power was knocked from Yuki's body. He felt limp and lightheaded, and entirely in a good way. He didn't care if he passed out from lack of oxygen, he just wanted Kyo to keep going, and never stop.

Kyo crawled up as he worked over Yuki's chest through his shirt, and his tongue hit skin the second he was high enough to get over the collar of Yuki's shirt and he didn't stop from there. Yuki's skin was buzzing beyond reason, like electricity being shot through his body every time Kyo licked or nibbled over his skin. He let out a low groan, closing his eyes and letting the electricity jump erratically under his skin.

His eyes drifted open again as he suddenly realized that he had never done anything like this back to Kyo, and he wanted to. He **really** wanted to. He wanted to make the cat squirm like Kyo could make him. He cupped Kyo's face and pulled him up into a kiss, and then before he could over think anything and back out, he slid one leg in between Kyo's and rolled the cat over onto his back.

Yuki leaned down to kiss Kyo, pressing his body flat against the cat's to hold him down as he ran his hands through his orange hair. Slowly, he moved down, running his tongue over Kyo's jawbone and neck and nuzzling Kyo's collarbone with his nose. And as he worked over Kyo's darker skin, a slow rumbling started deep in the cat's chest, traveling up to his throat as Kyo rolled under Yuki's touch, his eyes half closed and rolled back into his head. Yuki smirked at this realization and kept going, encouraged when the almost inexistent purring grew louder.

Yuki pulled Kyo's collar away to lick more at the cat's chest, scowling when it would only go so far and pushed Kyo's shirt up over his head to get more access at his chest and shoulders. Kyo had gone flushed under him, but he barely noticed.

He moved down along Kyo's torso, dipping his tongue in and out of Kyo's naval before it suddenly hit him where they were. He swallowed a bit in apprehension, but didn't stop because Kyo seemed so intoxicated by his touches.

Yuki reached down and hooked his fingers in Kyo's socks, sliding them off, his heart hammering in his chest. Kyo was watching him now, his face displaying a little uneasiness too. Yuki leaned up to kiss him, using any excuse for the both of them to close their eyes to make this easier. Kyo grabbed the back hem of his shirt and Yuki maneuvered to let him slide it over his head.

They both stopped for a moment, staring at each other, unsure of what to next and what would be overstepping the line. Kyo's hand twitched suddenly and he reached up, placing his palm on Yuki's chest. Yuki groaned, letting his head drop as Kyo brushed over his nipple. Kyo arched his back, straining to lean up and Yuki held the back of his head as they slid their tongues together. Yuki sat back on his heels, pulling Kyo with him as he worked at the cat's belt, finally pulling it open. He paused for a moment, nervous to continue, before undoing Kyo's pants and pushing his hand down to the bulge under the cat's boxers.

Kyo's breath hitched in his throat, and both of his hands slid into Yuki's hair, his hips rolling against Yuki's touch. Kyo moved one hand to undo Yuki's belt and pants next, pushing them off the rat's waist and down his thighs. Yuki felt his face go hot for a second at being so exposed like he'd never been, even to Akito, but he didn't stop, and leaned Kyo back onto the bed, pulling the cat's pants down when he lifted his hips to help Yuki get them off.

Yuki took Kyo's manhood in his hand, stroking harder when Kyo groaned, his head rolling back into the pillow, and the cat reached up to grip the sheets with both hands, anchoring him to this world. Yuki reached behind Kyo's knees, pulling the cat's legs off of the bed and placing them around his hips. Kyo looked up at him, almost asking how Yuki knew what to do with his eyes.

"Ayame," Yuki said in explanation, his face flushing slightly pink again and Kyo nodded, thank god understanding so Yuki didn't have to relive that horrible experience again. His damn brother and that damn Shigure acted like he'd been **begging** to know.

He had to fight not to shudder again.

But then again… at least he did know what to do now.

Yuki ran his tongue around two fingers, watching Kyo every second to know when it got to be too much for the cat—and a little amazed that Kyo hadn't tried to fight him for the top—and moved his hand to Kyo's entrance, pushing one finger in. Kyo's brow furrowed, like he wasn't sure what to make of the feeling, so Yuki pushed another finger in, pumping in and out slowly as Kyo's hips moved minutely to try to adjust to the new feeling. At least he didn't look like he was in pain.

"…You ok?" he asked slowly, and Kyo's eyes snapped up to him.

"Just do it," he barked quietly, but the unease in his eyes didn't match his voice. Yuki pulled his fingers out and repositioned Kyo's legs on his hips, not commenting on Kyo's nervousness because he knew he would get a fist in the face for it. Years of living with Kyo as a cousin had taught him that cats attack if they feel cornered.

Yuki noticed Kyo swallow and placed the tip of his manhood against Kyo's entrance, and leaned forward, pushing slowly into Kyo. The cat winced, but did nothing else but glare at Yuki—signaling him to not stop or it would hurt Kyo's pride, so Yuki didn't stop.

He leaned back and pushed forward again, repeating the motion as he slid slowly into Kyo, the cat's face becoming more contorted with every push, but Yuki didn't stop. He knew Kyo wouldn't want him to.

Yuki paused when his balls finally hit Kyo's skin and he was all the way in, his body pressed flat against Kyo, almost perfectly one being. He reached up, nervously stroking Kyo's cheek with two fingers. Kyo's eyes were squeezed shut, his hands gripping the sheets beside him so tightly that his knuckles were as white as the pillows, and his head was turned to the side, his orange hair falling angelically into his eyes.

"You all right?" Yuki asked after a moment, and Kyo nodded, the movement slow and painful. Yuki swallowed, wishing Kyo would give him something more to work off of, but he pulled back and pushed back in again, duplicating the movement again and again, deliberately slowly. Kyo looked in pain, that was obvious, but his legs were also still tight around Yuki's waist.

As Yuki kept moving, sliding in and out of Kyo became easier for both of them. A groan finally escaped Yuki's mouth when Kyo's expression relaxed enough for him to look pleasured.

Kyo's eyes drifted half open; his face was flushed, his mouth slightly open, his hair still hanging in his eyes. Yuki almost drowned in that expression. It was so hard to keep his head when Kyo looked so… beautiful. Not that he could ever say that out loud, who knows how Kyo would react when he was that embarrassed.

Kyo grunted, moaning slightly as Yuki thrust again, and Yuki paused before pushing again, trying to angle himself to hit that spot, smirking when Kyo groaned again, his head rolling back farther.

Yuki led his forehead drop into Kyo's shoulder, lifting one of the cat's legs higher so they could move easier. Kyo cried out, one hand reaching up to grip the back of Kyo's neck so hard Yuki would have thought Kyo was trying to kill him if they weren't in the middle of fucking.

He was pounding into Kyo now, moans tumbling from both of their mouths as the bed creaked below them. Yuki felt himself speed up, something inside him tightening, building up, like he was going to explode. Something hot splattered over his stomach and he groaned loudly, his voice in harmony with Kyo as he released and the volcano went off inside of him.

Yuki lay breathing on Kyo's chest, the cat gasping just as heavily below him.

"I love you," Yuki said suddenly. He didn't know why, but it was right. He had to say it.

Kyo almost stopped breathing, and Yuki looked up unsurely after a second at the cat's expression. Kyo was staring up at the ceiling, his shoulders and arms hanging limply beside him and Yuki on the bed. The look on his face… he looked like he was about to die of happiness.

"Me too," he whispered, turning his head away from Yuki, his lips pressed tightly together now and his cheeks tinged pink. Yuki smiled lightly, laying his head back on the cat's toned chest.

Next Day

Yuki sat in the cab, trying to keep his breathing steady and ordering himself not to look out the window. He didn't want to know how close they were to the Main House. Beside him, Kyo reached over and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. Yuki shut his eyes, leaning his head back and trying to relax.

The cab suddenly slowed, pulling off to the side, and Yuki felt his hand clamp around Kyo's.

"Seventy-five," the driver said, leaning over the seat. Yuki opened his eyes, only to whip his head away from the guy's worried stare. He must have looked like he was walking to his death. Kyo placed the bills in the driver's hand and rubbed his thumb over Yuki's hand a few times before letting go and pushing open the cab door. Yuki swallowed and did the same, stepping out into the bright sun to see Akito standing there on the porch of the Main House, smiling maliciously.

Yuki froze just outside of the cab, but he managed to close the door as he saw Kyo's fiery hair walking around the cab. A few others—Shigure, Ayame, Hatori, Haru, Kagura, Tohru—had joined her now, standing a safe distance behind her.

Kyo stopped by Yuki's side as the cab pulled away, leaving them standing in the street staring back at Akito. They stood there for a second before Kyo slid a hand from his pocket and reached out. Yuki looked down at his hand before reaching up to take it, gripping the cat's fingers tightly and pulling Kyo closer to him as they started walking, his step steady despite how nervous he was. Yuki couldn't place the emotion on everyone's faces behind Akito, except for horror. He just didn't know if they were scared for him, or… **of** him now.

Yuki and Kyo stopped at the top step, and Akito sauntered forward, a slight tip in her posture, and Yuki's blood was suddenly colder than ice. She stopped before them, staring at Kyo and not once looking at Yuki.

Out of nowhere her smile morphed into one of the darkest glares Yuki had seen, and hand lashed out, snapping across Kyo's face with a loud crack and making Yuki flinch, his head turning away. Tohru was the only one who gasped behind her, everyone else knew enough to stay silent.

"How dare you," she spat, stepping closer to Kyo. Yuki tried to pull him back, but Kyo's stance was firm and he didn't move, even as she came right up to his chest and slapped him hard again, another mark already forming on his lower jaw.

"How dare you defile the rat?" she screeched, slapping him again. "You dare taint him, you monster!"

_Kyo, don't take it! _Yuki swallowed, squeezing Kyo's hand tighter.

"You're contaminating him by even touching him! What makes you think you are good enough to touch something so perfect?"

"Perfect?"

Everyone looked to Kyo as he growled that one word, glaring back up at Akito.

"Perfect?" Kyo roared again, dropping Yuki's hand and stepping up onto the porch, forcing Akito back. She stumbled away, looking around in shock and confusion, unsure of what to do.

"He's anything but fucking perfect!"

Everyone's shock was so evident it could have been seen a mile away. Even Yuki was stunned speechless. Never once had anyone called him any but, well, perfect. And now Kyo was…

"He's got fucking asthma that could kill him! He hasn't been able to open up to anyone but Tohru and me for the past eighteen years! He turns into a rat when a girl hugs him! And because of **you** he's got fucking paranoia symptoms whenever he's alone or around people he doesn't know! I thought he was going to give himself a heart attack when he came to get me in the subway he was so panicked!"

…_Is that really…? _Yuki wasn't even sure. Was he really that scared? He'd just been tuning it out for so long that he didn't even notice it anymore.

How did Kyo come to know so much about him? And the cat was saying that he wasn't perfect… but really, that was all Yuki wanted. For someone to see him as… **him**.

Yuki's eyes flicked around, not at all surprised to see everyone's jaws hanging open at what Kyo was screaming at Akito—as well as the fact that he was screaming at her—and that he had forced her back. Yuki couldn't recall any of the zodiac members ever once telling him of a time that Akito had backed down.

Kyo and Akito stood across from each other, Kyo's fists clenched as he leaned forward, again in his trademark fighting stance. Akito didn't look as confident; she was leaning away from Kyo, almost as if she were afraid he would infect her with his insanity.

She smirked suddenly, sliding her kimono back up onto her shoulders as her smile grew. "Yuki," she said, and out of habit, Yuki raised his head, acknowledging that he'd heard and hating immediately that he'd just done it.

"Tomorrow I will send the servants to pack all of your things from Shigure's, and you will move back into the Main House. Shigure's house is now a dangerously poisonous environment with the cat living there, and we unfortunately can't do anything about that until the cat's room is ready."

Kyo flinched visibly, but Yuki hardly noticed. He couldn't even tell if he was breathing anymore, and everything was getting darker and swimming in front of him.

Move back? Into the Main House? Akito would be breathing down his neck every day, and once she found out he was gay there was no telling what she would make Kureno do to him. He couldn't. He couldn't live in the place where both he and Kyo would be behind bars, forbidden to even think about each other.

"But first, **you** will lock this monster inside of his prison. The cat's room should be ready in two days, not that it needs much more done to it. You can see the cat off, be the last nice thing he sees."

He wouldn't.

He could live with bars, torture, even rape—daily—from his own cousin if Akito wanted, but he would **not** lock Kyo in that place. He would rather die, easily.

"No."

Another round of gasping—mostly from Tohru—but Yuki held his ground. He was shaking from the inside out, but he wouldn't let it show. Kyo was taking everything Akito was throwing at him, so he would be strong for the cat.

"Excuse me?" Akito asked, her voice deathly calm.

"…I won't do it," Yuki said, looking her straight in the eye. "I won't abandon Kyo like everyone else did. His mother, father… I've seen his true form and it doesn't scare me half as much as you seem to think it does," he spat, making Akito pull away in shock, her eyes growing wider as Yuki continued. "We've both been abused by you, either for being "special" or hated, so we can understand each other like no one else could even hope to, and I'm not going to treat him like the rest of the zodiac does! I will **not** let you lock him in there!"

Yuki's breath jumped inside of him suddenly, his lungs going stiff, and then everything was light. Lighter than it had ever been. He could breathe like he'd never tasted oxygen before, like there was nothing weighing on his lungs or chest, and all of a sudden as he looked at Akito, he wanted to attack her. He wanted to make her hurt for even standing near Kyo after everything she did to him and everything she blamed on him. He wanted to make her feel the pain she'd put them though, and the intensity of this sudden urge honestly scared him. Even before he and Kyo had become close, he'd never even wanted to hurt the cat this much. It was so strong that he was afraid his hands would just jump to her throat without his consent if he continued standing as close as they were.

Akito's eyes were as wide as the moon, but she seemed to recover fairly quickly and turned back to Kyo, her eyes so narrowed it hardly looked like they were open. "You poisoned his mind even this much, so much that he would dare speak to his god like this…" she whispered, drawing her hand back to slap him again.

"NO!" Tohru suddenly screamed, and before Yuki could do anything to stop Akito himself, she dove forward and flung her arms around Kyo's neck to take the blow for him, too freaked out by the stress of the situation to keep herself still any longer. Yuki saw Kagura's arms jump forward too, but she was too far away to do anything, just like him.

And nothing happened.

Tohru blinked, as nothing hit her from behind, and the thing she was leaning very heavily against didn't move at all. She looked up slowly, staring at Kyo along with everyone else.

Kyo, who was still in his human form. His crimson eyes were wide, almost like he was just trying to convince himself that the transformation had been delayed, not letting himself believe what was happening.

Tohru dropped her arms, stepping back slowly and staring up at Kyo, trying to figure out why he was still taller than her. "K-Kyo?"

Nothing moved for the longest time, and then Ayame's hand shot out and grabbed Tohru's arm, pulling her tightly into his chest, but he remained in his human form too.

They had broken the curse.

Kyo was the only one who didn't see Yuki as perfect; most people didn't even see his asthma as a problem because other than that he was perfect in every way, but Kyo saw it for what it was: as something that almost killed Yuki on a few occasions. He shared Yuki's past abuse from Akito, and understood Yuki's fear of being alone or around too many strangers because of the abuse.

Yuki had accepted Kyo for what he was and he stood by him even though he had seen Kyo's bad sides, and he hadn't abandoned him like almost everyone else, even when Master had forced Kyo's transformation on him. He'd seen the cat's spirit in its real form, and he still hadn't left Kyo, like even his mother and father had both done. He understood Kyo's anger from that, and Kyo knew that Yuki wouldn't push him away or treat him like he didn't belong like the rest of the zodiac members did, even if it hadn't been done deliberately.

The cat could never be accepted for what it was before and the rat was always perfect in every way with no one able to see the real rat. But now, the cat and the rat had fallen in love, severing all ties holding them apart despite how alike they were.

Later

They had to wait too long to see each other after that.

No one was following Akito's orders, not that she was doing much ordering due to the shock of everything putting her in a catatonic state, and one by one everyone left because none of them wanted to stay at the Main House.

Yuki was walking slowly around the Main House looking for Kyo, who had gotten pulled away by Haru some time ago while Tohru was sobbing into Yuki's chest about him finally being free and about the fact that now he didn't have to worry about showing people his true self. Ugh. She had to go and say it in front of everyone too. Oh well, it's not like she wasn't right.

Strange as it was, he found himself looking at the house in an entirely different way. Even after only an hour of being… **free**—as foreign a concept as that was—already these walls didn't look so much like the walls of a prison. The windows looked like something that could be opened to let the breeze in, not bars. The doors looked like the paper that they were, not iron. The floors looked like carpet, not cement. Even the smell was fresher; Yuki could sense the relaxed atmosphere, and his muscles—normally so tense here—were like jelly.

Yuki paused as he passed one of the open doors, looking in to a small sniffling sound coming from within. Tohru stood with his back to him, Kagura crying into her shoulder as she held her gently.

His mind automatically jumped to the reason of her sadness being that she was losing Kyo now that he and the cat had flaunted their love in Akito's face with her right there, but then he noticed just how closely they were holding each other.

Tohru's hand lifted slowly, shaking, to Kagura's hair, which she started caressing, and Kagura leaned up, looking into Tohru's eyes, the tears still dripping down her face. Neither moved, and then Kagura laid her hand on Tohru's cheek and leaned in, pressing their lips together, and it hit Yuki with a start that it wasn't Kyo that Tohru was jealous of the last time Kagura came to visit.

Tohru slid her arms around Kagura's neck, and Kagura leaned back slowly, lifting Tohru a tiny bit off the floor. Yuki smiled and turned to leave, giving them the privacy that they needed.

Later

Yuki's hand was tight in Kyo's as the cat pulled him through the servants and remaining people in the Main House. There was nowhere they could go to be alone, there was someone in every room of the Main House—not that they really wanted to be alone together or spend time together in the place they had grown up associating with brutality, pain and physical and mental abuse.

They finally reached the front porch, both sharing a glance. They could walk, Yuki supposed, it wasn't really that far to home. And then a car pulled up in front of them, and the window rolled down, Kazuma smiling gently at them. He nodded his head toward the back seat, and Kyo opened the door and pulled Yuki inside without a second thought.

Kazuma drove carefully through the people of the Main House walking through the gardens and small roads inside the walls of the Main House, but Yuki noticed a drastic change in speed once he reached the road. Thank god Kazuma understood how much they needed to be alone.

"Well done, boys," was all he said the whole ride home. Neither had to say anything in return, they knew Kazuma was aware of what they felt without words.

The car drifted to a stop in front of Kazuma's house, and Kazuma looked over his shoulder to the back seat. "I have to go back to the Main House for an hour or two. There are some things I should take care of."

The cat and rat nodded, climbing out of the back and watching as Kazuma drove away. Yuki reached over and threaded his fingers into Kyo's, letting the cat lead him inside.

They sat down in the living room, and a thick silence filled the room before Kyo reached over and slid his hand behind Yuki's knee, tugging on the rat until Yuki followed the cat's hint and climbed into his lap.

He reached up, running the back of his hand along the angry reddish-purple mark on Kyo's cheek from where Akito had slapped him so viciously. Kyo quickly caught his hand and pulled it to his lips, laying kisses over the back of Yuki's hand until Yuki pulled Kyo up to kiss him instead.

"I love you," Kyo whispered around Yuki's lips, frantic against his own, and Yuki eagerly returned it.

Kyo leaned up onto his knees slowly, tipping Yuki off so he slid back onto his knees. Yuki let Kyo slide his arms around his chest from behind, a little nervous when Kyo tipped him forward so he was leaning over the coffee table, but not enough to tell the cat to stop, especially when Kyo planted a row of small kisses on his cheek from behind.

"Be right back," Kyo whispered, kissing Yuki once more before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Yuki let out a deep breath and grabbed one of the couch cushions, laying it across the table under him. He paused for a second before pulling of his shirt and socks, waiting for Kyo to come back in. He jumped slightly when Kyo's chest was suddenly pressed against his back, but didn't let the cat see it and craned his neck to kiss Kyo as the cat set some… olive oil on the table.

Yuki gave Kyo a confused look, to which the cat said, "Trust me, it hurts like a bitch otherwise."

_Oh. _"…Sorry."

Kyo just shrugged. "Don't sweat it."

Kyo laid his face in Yuki's neck, stroking the rat's stomach as he did. Yuki groaned, but forced himself to stay focused.

"Kyo," he forced out, turning until Kyo looked up at him.

"You… you have to promise that you won't let that happen again. With Akito… just for me," he touched the bruise on Kyo's face lightly. "It's not worth it."

Kyo leaned forward and laid his lips against Yuki's. "Nope."

"Kyo—!"

"What you don't get is that it is worth it. I could hug Tohru now, and nothing would happen. That's worth it to me."

Yuki scowled. "Fine, you don't have to promise, but that also means that I don't have to give you my ass."

"…Damn rat."

"Stupid cat," Yuki smirked back at Kyo and kissed him again.

Thank you Seventeen Forever by Metro for setting the mood and helping me finish this chapter!

Remember, reviews are always very encouraging for the writing of an epilogue!


	9. Epilogue

I don't own anything but my ideas.

Three Years Later

Kyo Sohma, now twenty-one, honestly didn't have many things to complain about in his life. Yuki Sohma, who had just turned twenty-one, always agreed when asked. They had finally found an apartment together about a year ago. Kazuma had never minded the kisses or the displays of affection which, after the two got used to being open with their love, being a very regular thing around the house, but he had put his foot down after he walked in on the two of them about to strip and eat **off** of each other in the kitchen.

Everything went uneventfully after graduation, and even that was barely a distant memory now.

Both were juniors in college now. After the death of Kyo's father two years ago, they had both really jump-started their lives together. It got a little odd trying to explain why they hung out so much together and never got girlfriends when they were in college dorms. In the first few months after the fall of Akito's reign of terror, neither Yuki nor Kyo had been quite ready to come out to the world. The same went for Tohru and Kagura, who event went so far as to only express their love for each other when they were around Kyo and Yuki, and even then they had asked both boys to not say anything, even to the rest of the family. The four had tried acting as beards for each other during their first year at college, but that didn't last long. And then after Kyo got his inheritance, Kyo and Yuki moved out of the dorms and there was no further need for the lies.

Tohru had continued to live with Shigure for about a year after graduation. She and Kagura began seeing each other more and more during that time, so much so that Yuki didn't really understand why they bothered asking him and Kyo not to say anything. Everyone who had a brain had probably figured it out by then. When Tohru finally did move into Kagura's apartment, the initial shock was there, but that faded fairly quickly as well.

Almost immediately after Tohru moved out of Shigure's, both girls came to visit Kyo and Yuki to thank them for giving them the courage to come out. Kagura then personally thanked Kyo for showing her that it was possible to be with the one you loved—especially after Kanna and Hatori and Haru and Rin—and then proceeded to pat him on the back so hard Yuki thought he heard Kyo's spine crack.

Hatori had never reentered the dating world, though Shigure and Ayame never left him alone about it for a second, but finally—almost two years after everyone had been set free from the curse—Haru and Rin found an apartment together. Yuki had never seen Kisa so happy before.

Tohru had only gone through a two-year college to work on her culinary skills. She didn't need much more training for cooking, but she needed to be certified in order to do it for a living. Kagura was just finishing up her senior year this year in college. She had become an event planner, or a caterer depending on the occasion. She and Tohru had created their own business together, and a very popular one as well. Reviewers said that Kagura's catering gave life to the parties, and Yuki always had to smirk at that.

The newest development from the Main House, though it was hardly a development at all, was the disappearance of Akito a couple months back, and then Hatori's less-frequent sightings anywhere. Shigure suggested that Akito was probably sick again, but Yuki had an odd feeling about it. Sick or not, Akito had never been out of commission for months. Meanwhile, he had to deal with Ayame's unwelcome pop-ins because Hatori wasn't around for him to bother. And the stupid snake never told them anything. Momiji, the only one aside for Hatori who still really went back to the Main House every so often, was worried about it. He said that the servants kept talking about a "big" secret and always shushed each other anytime he got close enough to hear.

But right now that was the farthest thing from Yuki's mind.

Kyo slept on his side. He always slept on his side. And usually with one hand up like he was stretching. It was adorable.

Presently, Yuki was on his side to, leaning up on his elbow and his cheek on his hand, staring down at Kyo as he slept.

Yuki was against Kyo's back, due to the fact that he had been on top last night, and this gave him the perfect view of Kyo's sleeping form. Kyo had become more and more relaxed as time without Akito went on, but it was still rare to see Kyo so at ease, so Yuki relished in it when he could. Complete trust. Yuki reached out and ran his fingers through Kyo's fiery hair, but stopped when he started to twitch. Trusting or not, he still had the reflexes of a cat. So Yuki pulled back and resolved to just watch him sleep.

Until the phone rang. Yuki let his head drop back against the pillow, annoyed, as Kyo's eyes shot open the second the phone sounded. Honestly. The man was better than any watchdog in existence.

Kyo watched Yuki slide out from under the covers and pad out of the room in his pajama pants. He stared after his boyfriend, unabashedly ogling at his ass. It was a nice one.

He rolled over onto his other side, kicking the covers off as he stretched.

"Hello?" came Yuki's voice from the other room. "Good morning Hatori. What is it? It's a little early." A pause. "Oh, it is really that time? I'm sorry, what did you want?"

Kyo smirked at the clear annoyance in Yuki's voice. Eight o'clock or not, Yuki was not a morning person. Kyo was actually surprised that he had slept this late. Usually he couldn't get past seven, eight is he was sick and nine if he had stayed out all night. Neither of the last two had happened, so it must have been how late he and Yuki were…

Kyo felt the heat rise on his face and flexed experimentally. Nothing sore, that was good at least.

"Oh."

Kyo looked up at the sudden change in the tone of Yuki's voice.

"W-well… how did it happen? All right, I know, not over the phone."

Kyo rose slowly and pushed the covers away from his feet, slipping his shirt on as he slid out of bed.

"All right, I'll be over soon. No… I don't know about Kyo. He probably won't want to."

Kyo walked up behind Yuki and slid his hands around Yuki's waist as the other man moved his arms to make room for Kyo's. Kyo rested his head on Yuki's shoulder, trying to hear the conversation, but Yuki leaned away. Kyo scowled and settled for relaxing against Yuki's neck.

"I'll ask, but I really don't think so. Thank you Hatori."

Yuki pulled the phone from his ear and stuck it back in the cradle, laying both of his arms over Kyo's.

"What'd he want?" Kyo asked after a second, taking the hint that Yuki wasn't going to bring it up on his own.

Yuki was silent, and the slowly, and almost inaudibly, he said, "Hatori said… that Akito died last night."

The reaction was automatic. Kyo froze, his arms locking so tightly around Yuki's waist that his breath was forced out in a loud huff. Kyo's arms relaxed again almost immediately so as not to hurt Yuki, but the feeling was still there.

"…Oh… and?"

Yuki looked away. Now this would be the awkward part.

"…And Hatori wants us to go back to the Main House for a little bit to sort some things out."

Slowly Kyo's arms left Yuki's middle, and though Yuki knew that would happen, he still felt the pang in his heart.

Kyo leaned against the counter, his face blank, staring straight past Yuki. Yuki reached out and touched the tips of his fingers to his boyfriend's arm.

"I'm going to go back, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

Kyo said nothing.

Yuki licked his lips and let his arm drop. _Well, I guess there's nothing else I can say._

He'd shower before leaving. That would give Kyo some time to calm himself and get his thoughts straight.

Later

Kyo had ended up coming, but it wasn't until Yuki was actually in the cab and about to pull away that Kyo finally walked out of the apartment building, yanking his coat on, his scowl dark enough to put a black spot on the sun.

But they were here now, and there was nothing more to be said.

Everyone but Rin and Kureno had come. And though the death of their former dictator actually and truthfully made some of them more happy than sad, the atmosphere in the room was still bleak. Akito's mother Ren wasn't there either, but this surprised Yuki about as much as Rin's absence did. Rin hadn't been within three miles of the Main House since she had been freed from the curse.

The door slid open and everyone looked to Hatori, who apologized for being late and closed the door tightly behind him.

After a moment, Shigure was the first to speak, "How did it happen?"

Hatori closed his eyes solemnly and took a seat next to Momiji before answering. "After the curse was broken, Akito's condition deteriorated significantly. It's my opinion that she felt that she had lost everything, because she no longer had us. Her mother hadn't spoken to her since before the curse was broken, and it's no surprise as to why everyone else left. With her illness, she was affected mentally, which affected her physically as well."

"…But that doesn't make sense," Yuki spoke up. "That shouldn't have killed her."

"…No," Hatori admitted with a sigh. "She was also pregnant."

A bolt of ice seemed to shoot through the room. Yuki felt his knees go weak, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

"The pregnancy put too much strain on her body with her illness, but she refused to terminate the pregnancy, because she felt that it was the only thing she had."

Yuki's shoulder's tensed. _The last thing she truly owned._

No one had to say what they were thinking. Everyone knew without a doubt that the baby was Kureno's. It was no secret that Akito had ordered him to sleep with her, and after the curse had been broke, Kureno had been the only one aside from Hatori to really stay with Akito. Almost like he felt sorry for her, or that she had trained him so well that he didn't feel like he could leave. Kureno had only really moved away about eight months ago, and so far he hadn't looked back.

"I contacted Kureno yesterday," Hatori broke the silence. "But he said that he didn't want to return. I believe he's finally getting up the strength to live his own life, and he told me that with his past, he thought the baby would do better with someone else."

_So that's why we're here._ Hatori needed to find someone to take the baby.

"I didn't bother asking you, Haru, I hope that was all right," Hatori looked over to the white-haired boy, who nodded.

"It's better that you didn't," he agreed. "Rin wouldn't have taken it so well."

"And I also thought that, Ayame, it might be better if the baby went with someone else. You—"

"Damn straight," Kyo snapped. "He couldn't handle it."

Yuki whole-heartedly agreed, but felt that it was better to stay silent in this situation, unlike his idiot boyfriend. Yuki stomped on his toe under the coffee table, making Kyo wince.

Hatori cleared his throat. "I was going to say that he had a full time job with the store, as well as Mine moving in soon and the personal orders he does on the side for customers."

"Really, Kyo-Kyo, you needn't lose your temper," the white-haired male crossed his legs, folding his hands in a dignified manner, trying not to look hurt. "I would have refused even if Hatori had asked."

"I considered asking someone outside of the immediate family, like a distant cousin, but I think it might be better for someone in the immediate family to take the baby. We would be able to explain the family better. I contacted Ren because she is Akito's next of kin"—the hair on the back of Yuki's neck shot up. Another child taken in by that witch?—"but she was very clear to state that she wanted nothing to do with the child."

The relief spreading throughout the room was instantaneous. Kisa even let out a loud sigh and dropped her head into her hands. Hiro was quick to place his hands on her shoulders, but he also looked relieved beyond belief.

_That explains the rush. Hatori wants to get the baby legally into someone else's hands before Ren changes her mind._

It suddenly hit Yuki with a jolt what was coming next, and he was very scared to see Kyo's reaction. He felt Kyo's grip lock on his hand like a vice grip and grimaced. The redhead knew too.

Hatori was quiet, and then very slowly he turned to face Yuki and Kyo. "Would you two be willing to take the baby?"

It was so dead silent in the room that everyone might as well have had no tongues. Yuki felt the temperature dropping by the second as everyone stared at them—at Kyo—to see his reaction, just waiting for him to explode.

But Kyo didn't. He kept his eyes on the floor, pulled his hand from Yuki's grip and walked out of the room, his hands in tight fists by his side. Yuki swallowed and looked back to the floor, not meeting anyone's gaze as he flexed his fingers just to give himself something to do.

Tohru leaned in towards Kagura, and after a moment of talking, Kagura kissed her, making her blush, before she turned back to everyone.

"Hatori… I know I'm not in the immediate family, but we could take the baby. I think I could still do a good job with the explaining, because Kagura will be with me, a-and I've been with you all for so long."

"I'm sure you could," Hatori said quietly. It was easy to hear the unease in his voice, and it wasn't because of Kagura's erratic personality.

_He's worried that, because Tohru and Kagura can't legally get married, if Tohru isn't directly part of the family, Ren might be able to manipulate the system and get the baby back if she decides she wants it in a few years. She's a very powerful woman already, and she could use the fact that the baby needs to be with __**family**__ as leverage._

Yuki looked back over to the door where Kyo had left, still avoiding everyone's gaze, because he knew half of his family would be pleading with him to go and try to change Kyo's mind.

But he couldn't. Or wouldn't. Akito had done so much to Kyo, and if they took in the baby when all Kyo felt for it was contempt, they could end up hurting the baby more than if anyone else in the family took the child in.

XXX

Later, Yuki was walking aimlessly around the Main House. Even though he knew Akito was dead, his skin still felt on edge, like he was prepared for Akito to appear around the next corner.

He paused as he passed a room with the door open and something moved inside. Again, his shoulders jolted, almost expecting to see Akito there, but he forced himself to relax when he realized that it was only Hatori. Hatori standing over a crib.

Yuki let out a deep breath, looking around once before he crossed into the dimly lit room. No lights were really on in the Main House yet, like the servants hadn't realized they could turn them on now that Akito wasn't there to scream at them for doing so. Yuki idly wondered what would happen to the Main House, if someone else would move in or if it would be sold. No one wanted to leave it just sitting here empty, like Akito's ghost was haunting it.

Yuki walked up to Hatori's side and looked down into the crib where Hatori had his stethoscope pressed to the chest of a tiny infant. Hatori stood up after a second and nodded to Yuki before turning for the door.

"…Ah, H-Hatori—"

"I'll be back, don't worry, I just need to get her formula."

Yuki scowled as Hatori left and turned back to the crib, laying his hands on the side. He wasn't scared.

"Hatori!" he called again as something dawned on him. The older man paused in the door and looked back.

"Did Akito choose a name…?"

Hatori shook his head. "Akito didn't name her." And left.

Akito looked back down to the baby and placed his hand lightly on her stomach. He was amazed how tiny she was, and it dawned on him that she must have been premature, in keeping with the "Sohma tradition."

…_I wonder if that'll be the last reminder of the curse? That babies will be born premature? Or if it was just because Akito was sick?_

Outside, Kyo paused outside the room when he saw Yuki inside. He sighed and slid his hands into his pockets, leaning against the doorframe and just staring in as Yuki soothed the infant.

Kyo looked over his shoulder as Haru walked up behind him, nodding at the younger boy.

"He looks happy," Haru commented casually.

"Shut up," Kyo muttered.

"…Rin might never want kids."

Kyo looked back in confusion, blinking when he saw Haru's blank face.

"I haven't asked her yet because I don't want to push her, but I don't know. She might think that she'll just end up hurting the kid if we have one. But it'd be nice to be an uncle."

Haru smiled at Kyo before looking back at Kyo. "That's not Akito," he said, and then turned to leave.

Kyo watched him go before breathing "Damn brat," half-heartedly under his breath. But after another moment, he went to go join Yuki.

Yuki looked up to see Kyo walking over to him, looking uncertainly down at the baby.

"Preemie?" Kyo asked, his voice cracking at the uncomfortable air between them. Yuki just nodded.

"…She really doesn't look like her," Kyo said after a moment and Yuki nodded again. The baby had soft light hair and a gentle face, nothing at all like how he remembered Akito.

_She must look like Akito's father._

Kyo cleared his throat suddenly. "It… it would be ok. To take her."

Yuki couldn't help it, his eyes snapped up in shock to meet Kyo's, his mouth hanging open slightly.

The heat flared into Kyo's face and he looked away, even more uncomfortable now, and crossed his arms. "Well…! The curse is broken now, and no one else should be hated for what they're born as!"

The corners of Yuki's lips pull up, and he reached down and slid his hands under her back and neck, lifting her gingerly out of the crib. He couldn't even begin to explain how scared he was that he would hurt her.

Hatori blinked as Haru, who he had tried to pass on the way back into the room with the formula, stopped him with one hand. He looked up in confusion to see Yuki holding the baby out so both he had Kyo could look at her. Kyo had one hand on Yuki's shoulder, his other one reaching out to touch the baby tentatively as Yuki leaned into Kyo.

Hatori just smiled and passed the bottle to Haru as he walked away.

The baby's eyes drifted open as she yawned hugely up at the two, her tiny fists clenching as she stretched.

"She looks like a Mizuki," Kyo murmured.

Yuki smiled. _Beautiful moon. It fits. She is the light in this dark situation. _"She does."

Kyo rested his head on Yuki's shoulder as Mizuki looked up at them. "She looks all right," he said finally.

"She does," Yuki agreed again.

Thanks for all of your patience for the epilogue!

*Sniff* It's over :( I hope everyone enjoyed! :3


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